#socialized better maybe. the gift of living as you imagine because you are not imagining at all

[diz-eaze]

Imagine: modern yandere Scaramouche but instead of being a Nepo baby he's a broke baby and you're the rich one.

broke boy Scara banging his head against the wall when his old phone finally gives up on him. He's experiencing very heavy internet withdrawal cause he haven't checked your Instagram for 2 hours now.

Broke boy Scara trying to give you give you gifts but you either already own it or you have an even better version of the gift (He's going to cry himself to sleep tonight because you must think he's a cheep scape)

broke boy Scara wanting to go out to lunch with you but the restaurants you pick are always out of his budget so you have to pay for his meals (even though he insist he's okay with just watching you eat like the little freak he is)

broke boy Scara crying and pulling his hair off his scalp because he's forced to drop out of college cause he failed all his classes (he was too busy stalking you) and now he can't be with you anymore.

broke boy Scara feeling elated when you agreed to let him stay with you until he can get himself back on his feet and enroll again (he's never gonna leave you)

; this is a stroke of genius omfggggg,,,, broke boy scara,,,, BROKE BOY SCARA !!!!!! his 5GB worth of load data runs out one day while he's stalking your account, and his will to live dims out just like that 😭😭 thinking of this concept with a preppy, kind rich girl teehee

; yandere, not proofread i wrote this in one go, female (y/n), popular girl x loserboy trope omg,,, referred to as scara narratively but called kunikuzushi in dialogue like once.

i think the reason why broke boy scara came to be is because he ran away from his home to escape his emotionally neglectful mother (albeit she's in the process of grieving her twin sister, but it doesn't justify her actions) and sister as soon as he turned 18. he swiped his legal documents, ransacked any cash lying around, applied for a scholarship to a state university, and booked it. in this au, he never really encountered or met nahida at all.

he lives in a cramped one-bedroom apartment near the state university that accepted his scholarship application to save money. after all, the cash he took won't last him forever. having a lackluster resume is hard, he has no prior job experience so he can't apply for any decent paying ones at the moment. for now, scara settles on taking a part-time job as a convenience store cashier located on the same street as his apartment building.

before his first semester even begins, scara lives a monotonous life. he wakes up, eats a simple breakfast, advance studies to maintain his scholarship, goes to his part-time job, goes home, hangs out in his tiny balcony, and goes to sleep. he can't afford a laptop right now so he can't really game. all he has to pass time is his four-year-old phone. money is tight, but the elation of having freedom for the first time outweighs his worries.

the life he has right now isn't much, but it's undoubtedly his.

prior to meeting (y/n), broke boy scara had an idgaf mentality regarding his financial situation. it could be worse! he could have been on the streets homeless but he isn't - and that makes him grateful enough. sure, he doesn't have wi-fi, but that's not something weekly load can't fix. and maybe he doesn't have full, hearty meals every single day - but isn't that the average experience of a college student? gucci bags, caviar, diamond-encrusted earrings, etc., are luxuries for a reason! he doesn't need any of that nor is he tempted to.

predictably, his tune changes after your first meeting with him.

scara had to pick up his jaw from the floor because the whiplash of social difference he experienced after he took one step inside his university campus was jarring. of course, what did he expect? it's a state university, after all! there was no way that the place wouldn't be crawling with nepo babies and children of the country's politicians, all with dirty money paying for the full price of the hefty tuition fees.

you're one of them.

standing tall and proud with perfectly done hair, sunglasses protecting your delicate eyes from the harsh sunlight that comes with dreadful morning classes. dainty hands that have never known labour are decorated with rings topped with stones that he can't even identify. pierced ears adorned with bangle hoops made from gold, all while dressed in chanel and Burberry from top to bottom and finished off with jimmy choo heels. you are pretty, unfairly so.

you're surrounded by two other girls that are dressed in similar splendor, all smiles and giggles as you walk toward your first class.

money... talks.

to his surprise, scaramouche meets you again, as it turns out you share the same first period as him. he eyes the open seat next to you, debating if he should bite the bullet. his hesitation must be glaringly obvious as your eyes flit up to meet his. he flinches.

your nose scrunches up as you giggle, your bracelet-laden hand pats the seat as if to entice him. "come sit, i don't bite!"

he cautiously moves around your designer bag resting on the lecture room's floor, and even narrowly avoids stepping onto a gucci shopping bag just behind - it would be a great misfortune if he got himself into debt on the first day of his college semester like those kdramas he watched.

scaramouche sits up straight and keeps his hands to himself while waiting for the professor to arrive. silence wafts though the air, though he can't help but sneak glances at what exactly you were writing down on your ipad - he's reluctant to make conversation, still wary if you'd be offended at the prospect of a brokie like him (disregarding the fact that you were the one who invited him to sit).

and you seem content to be left to your own devices, so... he lets it be.

it isn't until the end of the lecture did you actually talk to him. amidst him picking up his slingbag to go to his next class, halfway through the room, a distinct voice calls out,

"hey, indigo-head!"

scaramouche freezes, his foot stilling in mid-air as he slowly turns around, unsure if he was the indigo-head you were referring to. he dumbly points to himself, and you nod enthusiastically, even giving him a big thumbs up for good measure.

he tries his best to still his accelerating beating heart.

"what's up?" he asks once you're near him, trying to play it cool.

"just wanted to say hi and introduce myself! my name's (y/n)," you reach out to dramatically shake his hands in exaggerated motions, and he hopes you don't feel the sweat that has built up in his palms.

"oh, guess you can call me... kunikuzushi. but just shorten it to kuni if you want," he shrugs, looking anywhere but you.

"got it, got it!" you let go of his hands, and the loss of your touch stings for some reason. "sorry to hold you up on your next class, see you around!"

"yeah, sure." scara cooly nods, watching you walk ahead of him until your figure is swallowed by the sea of students bustling around.

he doesn't want to admit it, but you leave disappointment in your wake. he was hoping for something more - like an offer of friendship, not an obligatory introduction of names. but perhaps that was his wishful thinking speaking - it's unrealistic to hope that would happen, you seemed to be surrounded with more than enough friends anyway.

you, with your perfectly done nails and easy confidence - evident of how you never had to experience insecurity or worry growing up, because you yourself are the person most people wanted to be.

right, right... why would you want to be friends with someone like him? realistically speaking, you're probably no different from those whiny, spoiled brats with shallow personalities. what a joke.

hah, maybe he really should lay off the kdramas.

a box of chocolate sits atop of his self-chosen desk the next time enters the class he shares with you. it screams wealth from the packaging alone, accompanied by a european-sounding brand name, and is that real gold?

"it's for you," your voice cuts through his inner monologue, and scaramouche looks up with indigo eyes wide in disbelief.

"what?"

you blink once, "i said, it's for you?"

"no, i heard you right the first time", scaramouche can't help but roll his eyes, "i meant - what for?"

"oh! it's nothing much, just a peace offering. i mean, you're my desk neighbour now, right? i don't know what you like but my dad got those chocolates from his trip back in belgium! heard it was custom-made by a renowned chocolatier or something." you smile, eyes urging him to try it.

scaramouche blinks, hesitant. "i hate sweets."

you gawk in disappointment before going back to being easy-going. "it's okay! you can just give it to your siblings or throw it away! as for my peace offering... hmm."

you snap your fingers and ask him, "what do you like?"

he frowns, "what?"

"let's go shopping after your classes ends, i'll take you wherever you want!" you excitedly explain, decorated soft hands grabbing his callous ones. "my treat!"

scaramouche stutters then, pink dusting his ears, "y-...you don't need to all this, are you insane?"

but doing all of this for him... he struggles to fight back the smile threatening to break through his face.

you shake your head vehemently, still holding onto his hands, "it's no matter for me, so don't worry! i use my dad's credit card, after all!"

reality crashes down on him... right, this is probably nothing for rich kids like you. spare change, even. going around, doing acts of kindness using daddy's card... you'd probably do this 'peace offering' regardless if he weren't seated next to you - that this is just how you are as a person. you're not doing this because of him specifically.

and that thought stings. it eats him up more than he'd like to admit.

still, he agrees. he tells you he likes to play video games in his spare time (a lie, he doesn't have the means to do so).

you gift him a ps5 in turn.

and the wealth and social discrepancy between the two of you makes it even more apparent to him. he goes to his bed that night with thoughts of 'what-if's.

by the time the second semester of university hits, scaramouche's routine have greatly been altered - all thanks to your eventual friendship with him, of course.

nowadays, he obsesses with fervor. he barely even touches the ps5 you gave him. he barely touches the things you gift him in general.

he views them as something sacred. to be touched by him is sin.

the first thing he does after waking up is opening his phone to look at your instagram account, with your wealth there's no doubt that you've probably added a new story pertaining to an impulsive purchase or impromptu getaway. next up is twitter, checking to see if your following and followers are the same or decreased/increased.

every day he worries that you might be hiding a secret boyfriend from him. someone who is able to stand with you on a podium - someone who matches you not only in terms of wealth but in extrovert nature as well. scaramouche thinks he'd die the day he finds out you've fallen for someone that isn't him.

he eats breakfast soon after, the taste bland and lacking flavor. not because of the ingredients he used but because he's not eating with you. scaramouche finds that life with you not around is boring and dull. once he's done eating, he puts the dishes in the sink to wash.

he showers, dresses up, and exits his small apartment. it's only when he's a street away from the campus does his blood start buzzing in excitement. it's only then does scaramouche start to feel alive.

sometimes, if he's lucky, scaramouche will encounter you walking in the open fields and he'll speed up his pace just so you both can enter the lecture room together. you, with long acrylic nails that probably costed more than his monthly rent, would playfully pinch him in greeting. he has to push down the shiver of delight that crawls up his spine every time.

the bad days happen when he wakes up late, indigo hues heavy with eyebags, and movements tinged with fatigue. it's rare, but sometimes he wakes up late because he was busy thinking about you the night before. and when he's late, there's a good chance that the lecture room is already packed and his self-assigned seat next to you is already taken by someone else.

he hates it when it happens.

lunch break is a gamble for him, sometimes you're spending it with your other wealthy friends so he's left eating alone in the campus cafeteria. sometimes, you plead and beg with him to let you treat him to some high-end restaurant that's 30 minutes away from campus. in the beginning, he strongly refused out of a sense of embarrassment. but now, his raw need to constantly be around you is stronger than any shame he can possibly feel.

during your lunch breaks spent with him, scaramouche can't help but hope that the people around you two thinks that you're a couple. it happened once, during him accompanying you on a shopping trip and the words still rolls around in his mind.

boyfriend.

he wishes.

after lunch, he drives the both of you back to campus (you used to have a designated driver, but scaramouche soon offered to drive instead) using your car. you go on your separate ways, different classes and all. with you gone, the world loses its color once more.

he releases a sigh at that.

after classes, scaramouche walks several blocks to his part-time job. it's night by the time he returns to his apartment, body utterly tired. still, he pulls out his phone to check on your accounts once more.

he smiles when he sees himself in your story post.

scaramouches eats his measly dinner, eyes raving at the gifts from you that he accumulated while he chews. he still ponders on how he can pay you back on your generosity. what can you give to someone who has everything?

he settles into his twin-sized bed. he wonder then, how can he seize control of your life that's so above his? what leverage can he pull for him to be yours?

scaramouche closes his eyes, letting the sleep take hold of his mind.

for now, he'll gladly play along as your university friend.

[ceesimz]

Who falls in love in November?

part 2 of this, also known as the happy ending everyone wanted :)

Alexia had three days remaining of her time in Menorca after you left. Never in her life had a vacation been so miserable.

Even without you there, her head was constantly on a swivel when she was out, hoping she’d turn a corner and you were there waiting for her. She was withdrawn from social occasions with friends, stuck in her head thinking about how much she wished you were by her side.

But it wasn’t going to happen. It didn’t happen.

And to top it all off, she had no evidence you even existed aside from the book you gifted her, as if you were merely a figure of her imagination. A daydream she didn’t want to come out of. It was simultaneously the best and worst summer of her life, because she had you, and then she didn’t. You slipped out of her grasp before she could do anything about it, and that fact was eating her up inside. 

To be honest, as she boarded her plane home, she had never been so grateful for a vacation to end. She slumped into her seat after storing away her suitcase and sighed heavily, looking out of the window of the place that she currently held mixed feelings about. The whole island was tainted by you and the memories that remained. At the thought, she slammed the window cover shut. It was a pitiful attempt to shove you out of her mind; to be fair to her, it worked for a few seconds. Except, when she reached into her backpack by her feet, her hand grabbed something and pulled it out.

Your book. The only thing that remained of your relationship. 

Relationship? Could it be classed as that? Probably not. But what else could she call it? The greatest mistake of her life?

Since she opened the first page the night you gave it to her, she had probably read the note there a hundred times. And so what if she had traced the curvature of your handwriting with her finger as her eyes burned with tears that night? You weren’t there to see it, that’s the only thing that mattered to her. 

This book means a lot to me, and from all the wonderful things I know about you so far, I think you’ll like it too. We haven’t known each other for very long but I hope that changes because you’ve already had a better effect on me than anyone I have ever met, and for that I am so grateful. Let me know when you finish it.

That last sentence, as well as the accompanying smiley face that was exactly the same as the one you had drawn on another note to her a few days prior, mocked her. She couldn’t reach you if she tried. She only had your first name and the city you lived in, there was nothing to go off of if she attempted to find you. The worst part of it all is that you could be her neighbour for all she knows, but the only thing she could do was hope that your worlds aligned sooner rather than later. You could live in the apartment right beside hers, or above it, or below. The possibilities were endless and it killed her. 

Maybe it was sad and pathetic, but she couldn’t bring herself to read the story. There had been one attempt so far, and it only resulted in a throbbing headache, puffy red eyes, and a damp pillow. Another sigh left her lips as she dropped it back into her bag and zipped it up with more aggression than necessary, earning a strange glance from the flight attendant that walked past her just as she did so. 

A little while passed before the plane got ready for take-off, and ever the rule-stickler, Alexia took one of her earphones out as the safety video played out. At that point, she realised just how screwed she was, because she couldn’t even look at a life vest on a fucking plane without thinking back to that day with you on the boat.

“Qué coño estoy haciendo?” She grumbled under her breath, slipping her earphone back in and resting her head back against the seat, eyes closed. 

Unfortunately, that was a question she would repeat to herself a hell of a lot the following months. Because, really, not a day passed by without her thoughts being infiltrated by those days with you. The second she closed her eyes at night, she saw your face. When she woke up in the morning, she wished you were beside her, even despite the fact she had never once shared a bed with you.

At one point, sometime in September, she even found herself going along to one of Mapi’s dinners in Barcelona that she always planned. Alexia had been invited to every single one in the past few years since the defender had started organising them with her closest friends, but the blonde had only attended a handful in that time. Her attendance for this one was solely for the purpose of seeing you. 

However, you didn’t show up.

There was one chair at the end of the table empty, and though no one ever took it, Alexia couldn’t tear her eyes away. She had a vacant expression on her face throughout the whole duration of the evening, forcing a smile when she had to and keeping her responses short. The people there that didn’t know her too well were probably a little weirded out, but Mapi could see heartbreak in her eyes and the realisation of what likely happened brought a frown to her face. She didn’t want to intrude on a situation she knew Alexia would prefer to keep private, but it hurt to see her friend so down like she was. 

Only one conversation topic truly piqued her interest that evening. Near the end of the night, someone asked why you weren’t there. The single mention of your name had her heart racing.

“-has gone to England to see her family for a while.” 

The person talking, who Alexia assumed was your friend, went on a bit more about your whereabouts, but the blonde had tuned out of it as soon as she heard that you weren’t even in the country, nevermind the city. 

She had the urge to just get up and walk out of the restaurant there and then at the news, but she was here, at a restaurant with alcohol available to her, and instead she decided to throw her personal laws out the window for the night and have a few drinks. They didn’t numb the pain, in fact they probably made it more prominent. Alarm bells were ringing in Mapi’s head at the sight of her friend with an alcoholic drink in her hand, especially since the new season had just started, and she waited until everyone was leaving to bring it up.

“Ale, Ale, espera.” The shorter woman lightly grabbed her friend by the arm just as she started the walk back to her apartment. “Qué passa?”

“No, Mapi.” Alexia mumbled, shaking her head and continuing to walk. Mapi kept up the pace beside her, allowing the silence to sit for a bit, before the older woman sniffled a little. 

“Oye. Habla, ahora.” Mapi demanded, halting their movements on the sidewalk as Alexia kept her head down.

“No es importante.” Alexia shrugged dismissively, opting out of looking at Mapi and instead observing the streets she had walked all of her life. Ones that you have probably walked too.

“Es importante!” Mapi argued, before she pushed down her frustration and addressed her captain much more calmly. “Si estás así de triste, es muy importante, Alexia.”

“Stop, Mapi! Leave it, it has nothing to do with you.” Alexia snapped, before turning away and heading back in the direction of her flat. 

The fact she slipped into English, now of all times, told Mapi everything she needed to know. Things hadn’t gone smoothly between you and Alexia. Whatever happened, Mapi would stay out of it until she was needed. That didn’t mean she was any less disappointed at it though. Not at you, or Alexia, because regardless of what had or hadn’t gone on, she didn’t blame you and she knows neither of you would have blamed each other too. Whatever had occurred was left in the hands of the world to sort it out.

Though, if she had known it was just a miscommunication that could have been easily solved, she would have grabbed you both by the ears and lectured you to no end. 

The truth is, if Alexia wasn’t so stuck in her misery and just read the book given to her, all of her problems would have been solved. In her opinion, if she did read it, it would just mean finding out more about you that she couldn’t have. But, as a matter of fact, getting to the end of the story would give her the one thing she wanted all along.

By the time November rolled around, Alexia and the rest of the Barcelona team were well into the season in most competitions already. The league was going well, they had won the two Champion’s League games so far, and they had just beaten Real Madrid in the first game of the fifth, albeit unofficial, infamous competition of the season- El Clásico.

A win like that always had to be celebrated, and none of the blaugrana players were going to pass up a night of partying in Barcelona afterwards. 

There was just one small thing Mapi failed to tell Alexia before they arrived at the club, however.

—

Your life after that vacation didn’t really change. The only noticeable difference was the heartache and the anguish you felt after arriving home that no one would understand. In secret you met, in silence you have to grieve. 

Except, your pain wasn’t quite the same as Alexia’s. Hers surely had an expiration date, she would get over you at some point. Yours would only get stronger the longer you spent apart from her, the anxiety turning the scenario you were in from a nightmare into a reality.

You had no doubts that Alexia was a busy person, so for a few weeks, you gave her the benefit of the doubt when it came to reading. But a few weeks turned into a month, then one turned into two, and before you knew it, it was November. Maybe she didn’t want to see you again after all, maybe those few days were enough for her.

That summer felt like a lifetime ago, an out of this world experience that was nothing more than a dream. But it was real, you know it was, because you still feel the phantom touch of her lips on your shoulder and the comfortable warmth of her hand in yours. You still remember every detail about her, like the moles on her face and the depth to her hazel eyes, or the tattoos on her back and the strength of her arms when she embraced you. Not even your wildest dreams could have created such a person like Alexia. She was more than anything you could have wished for.

Perhaps you could have searched her up online, the blonde was apparently a prominent public figure after all, so it probably wasn’t that hard to find out more about her. You didn’t want to do that though, in the weirdest way, it would feel like invading her privacy. What could be found online was most likely not a true representation of her. Though she wasn’t yours anymore, and she never really was in the first place, you knew the media’s perception of her would be so different to who she actually was, and indulging in that would be a disservice to the woman you had the honour to love, even if that was for just a week.

In your time since Menorca, you had gone back to your normal life like nothing had happened. As if nothing had changed outwardly, when internally, everything had changed. You had been introduced to the true beauty of life, what it means to feel seen, only to have it ripped away from you. And maybe it was your fault that it wasn’t yours to experience anymore. If you could go back in time to that final moment in the bar, you would have done everything differently, especially if you had known it would end like this.

At some point in September, the city you loved became nothing but a mental challenge. Alexia could be anywhere, yet in your opinion, there was no morally correct way to try and find her. It all got too much, and you had to escape. Going back to England seemed like a good idea at first, however in hindsight, it just made things worse. Somehow it made the pain, regret, sorrow, it made all of it reach new heights. During the taxi ride back to your apartment in Barcelona afterwards, there were tears in your eyes that hardly left for the next two months. No matter what you tried, you couldn’t get her out of your mind, even though you were probably long gone from hers.

A night out in the city sounded perfect suddenly, in November. One mention of it from a friend of a friend, and you were in. There was some special occasion apparently, according to María, but you didn’t care that much to pay attention. All you knew was that the club was booked for you all, there was a ticket with your name on it, and alcohol waiting for you.

Only, you didn’t expect to meet a familiar pair of eyes at the bar a few hours into the night. 

“Ale?” You whispered under your breath at the sight of the woman a few metres to your right, leaning against the bar with a near empty beer bottle in her hand. 

With the music thumping throughout the club, there was no way she heard you. But her eyes averted to her left anyway, and they landed straight on you. Her entire body froze, eyes wide whilst the rest of her face seemed void of emotion. It was hard to get a read on her and considering there was a fair amount of alcohol in your system by this point, it wasn’t surprising when the anxiety took over and made you doubt everything. 

Did she still feel the same way about you? Was there already somebody else for her? Maybe you didn’t mean as much to her as she did to you. There were probably thousands of other people she could have, when you took her supposed stardom into account. The scale of her fame was still a mystery to you, but at that moment it was too overwhelming to think about. What business did she have falling in love with someone who was nothing more than a fly on the wall?

Nobody ever noticed you, you were just there. Alexia was… Alexia. There weren’t enough words in any and all languages to describe what a person she was. 

Unbeknownst to you, Alexia was freaking out too. Not in the way one would initially expect, though; there was one overwhelming feeling for her that wasn’t fear or anxiety, it was relief. Complete, utter, all-consuming relief, because you were right in front of her. Within arms reach, basically. Despite all the possibilities that could occur from here on out, she was just happy to see you. 

However, her face hadn’t changed in the time the pair of you had been staring at each other agasp for the past however long, and it didn’t change as she cautiously took a few steps closer to you. With each step she took, your anxiety grew. It grew and grew, until she was about a metre away, and it reached its peak.

In true anxiety fashion, the fight or flight kicked in.

A proper glance at her face and you were breathless, and not in the swooning, romantic way, but instead out of pure panic. The club was too loud, too restricting and suffocating, and the only option that seemed plausible was getting the hell out. You didn’t care about the people you bumped into, or the voice shouting after you. The situation that confronted you back at the bar was more than you could handle and it seemed to be an insurmountable challenge that you weren’t quite prepared for. 

In your mind, Alexia was done with you. The heartbreak was tearing through you already and had been for months now, you didn’t need a run in with her to increase that, and you definitely didn’t want closure. Too long had passed, you had grown content with the realisation that she had moved on seamlessly.

It took a matter of seconds for Alexia to lose sight of you in the crowded room, and what didn’t help was the sudden barrage of teammates that seemed determined to drag her to the dancefloor. They were buzzing off their copious amounts of alcohol compared to her one bottle of beer, completely unaware of the turmoil she was going through due to the winning high they were still riding. She saw the disappointed look on their faces as she brushed them off and it hurt for a moment, before she remembered the situation she was in, and then the celebrations were forgotten entirely. 

The moment she exited the club, she spotted you outside the next building over, a restaurant with outdoor seating that was closed due to the late hour. You were sat in one of the chairs there, head in your hands with a leg bouncing out of intense anxiety. Alexia knew she was the reason for your current state, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out, but she also didn’t want to leave you alone when you were so clearly worked up. If you pushed her away, fine, she’d leave. She just wanted to try first.

As she prudently walked over to you with a few gentle calls of your name, like she were approaching a skittish animal, you glanced through your fingers to find the one person at the centre of your anxiety approaching you. Rather than tell her to leave, or get everything off your chest in a ‘screw you’ way, or simply pretend she didn’t exist, you removed your hands and sat up like you weren’t just having an anxiety attack. Your people-pleasing habit had no boundaries. 

“Are… are you okay?” Alexia asked softly, standing a few feet in front of you with her hands, that itched to reach out and comfort you, holding onto the chair behind her which she leaned on just as an excuse to nervously fidget with something not too obvious. 

“I will be.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile that you paired with a quick sniffle and a brush away of the tears on your cheeks. 

To anyone else, this whole situation probably seemed ridiculous and unnecessary. Why not just exchange details in the first place? Why not ask Mapi, a mutual friend, for the other person’s details? There were so many seemingly obvious solutions and ways this could have been prevented. 

But love isn’t so simple. It’s a risk to take, a fact that often goes unacknowledged and underappreciated. Especially when your heart has already been broken and stuck back together so many times, it’s hard to hand it over again. It is a delicate organ, the only one other than the brain that has the ability to feel, to hold sentiment and adoration. 

There’s no rhyme or reason as to why people decide to harm it, but Alexia isn’t one of those people. She’d take your damaged goods and glue them back together with gold if she could, and you’d do the same for her. When all is said and done, there is no blame or resentment present, just guilt and regret. Your souls are too pure for hatred, they’re professionals at harbouring love for those around no matter what, and it’s evident with the way you both treat each other, despite all the unspoken sorrow and devastation individually experienced during all these months. 

A week of pure, whole-hearted, unconditional love was worth all the months of anguish. That was an easy conclusion both of you had come to somewhere along the way.

“I…” There was so much that Alexia wanted to say, but she had no idea how to verbalise any of it or where to even start. She believed that nothing she could say would live up to the moment. 

“We don’t have to do this, Ale.” You decided for her. Your words exuded a confidence that wasn’t there at all, and you figured that it was probably evident in your anxiety-filled appearance, but what’s the harm in trying. 

“Do what?” Alexia replied with her face scrunched in fearful confusion. Ale. She had missed you saying that. 

“Do the awkward back and forth whilst ignoring the fact we fell in love four months ago.” 

It hurt to admit it out loud. 

For months, this pain had been nothing but an internal one, hidden in the background of your thoughts at all points of the day whilst the world around you was none the wiser. The only external signs of such an event were the mascara stains on your pillow after a night of crying and the tear tracks engraved onto your cheeks when walking into work the next day.

You fell in love four months ago. And the person you were still in love with stood before you. But time had passed, and perhaps that love had to be left behind. 

“Maybe I don’t want to ignore that.” Alexia’s shoulders were up in a shrug for a few moments, her heart beating away so fast in her chest that a pit of nausea had formed at the sentence she had just uttered. You looked up at her through tears that glistened in the street lamps, a glint of hope in your eyes that you loathed. In just one statement, you were wrapped around her finger again. 

“What do you mean?” You questioned firmly, voice distant despite the crack in the middle of it.

“Maybe… I am still in love with you.” 

Laughter wasn’t quite the response Alexia was expecting, especially spiteful laughter. Disapproving laughter with anger so clear in its undertones. 

“How can you say that after you’ve obviously moved on? After I’ve heard nothing from you all these months?” You scoffed. Your pent-up exasperation wasn’t even at Alexia, she just so happened to be there and saying all the wrong things to act as the catalyst for the eruption.

No, the anger was entirely at yourself. You opened up your heart to someone you knew you couldn’t have, and still had the audacity to be so hurt by the anticipated turn of events. Alexia was never to blame, it was you. 

“What? I don't understand.” Alexia retorted, and it’s unexplainably hard to continue your onslaught of misdirected blame when there’s so much pain in her voice.

“You had so much time to contact me, and yet you didn’t. I can read the room, Ale, I can tell when I’m not wanted, and I get it.” The fight left you then, your body deflating of all its tension as you curled back into yourself. 

“I had no way to get to you! I don’t get it, cariño, I really don’t, because I have loved you still all these months and I missed you, and if I did have a way to get to you, I would have taken it because I have lost myself after losing you!” 

“Oh, so I just gave you my favourite book with my number in the back of it for no reason then?” You scoffed once more, shaking your head as you willed the tears away once more.

Just a few feet in front of you, Alexia was going through about a million different emotions, thoughts, feelings, all that good stuff, at once. Her head was spinning, dizzy at the gravity of what you just said. 

“I didn’t read your book.” Alexia whispered, her voice quiet and dripping with awe, still stuck in regretful astonishment at the fact the solution to everything had been under her hands all this time. 

Your number, in the back of the book that was right beside her bed. She had you right under her fingertips and she didn’t even know it. 

“What do you mean?” You asked in the same tone.

“I could not bring myself to read it because I missed you too much. Your number is really in the back? You are not doing some… some cruel joke?”

As if you’d ever.

“No! I swear, I wrote it in there that night in the bar when I gave it to you. I thought you saw me write in it!” You exclaimed, overcome with all sorts of emotions at the new revelation. 

It had been a stupid mishap, nothing more. No malicious intent on either side, no animosity (aside from the last few minutes), and most of all, throughout this whole thing, there had been no love lost. It was just a mutual misunderstanding. That label felt too simple for all the turmoil that had occurred, yet at the same time, an exhilarating amount of relief came with it which soon overrode the seething irritation that flashed by. The possibility of exploring a relationship with Alexia was so much more thrilling to focus on than all that could be different.

There was no use in dwelling on what could have been if this mistake hadn’t happened. Far too often have you done that in the past, and it’s never gotten you anywhere. Alexia had done the same during those lonesome nights after hours spent in the presence of thousands of people in stadiums across the world - going from being surrounded by countless adoring fans to nothing but overwhelming silence was something she had struggled with. It opened up a world of vulnerabilities for her, as she thought and thought and thought until the mental exertion exhausted her and she finally fell asleep. 

Something that came with her ACL injury was the introduction of a psychologist, and it had forced her to change so many aspects of her life for the better. Like in this scenario now, where just like you, she wanted to disregard what hasn’t happened, and instead focus on the moment, and all the amazing things that could happen. Because, really, what was standing in her way apart from the threat of a road not taken? And the best thing of all, is that with one look in your eye, she knew you felt the same.

She knew you wanted the simplicity, rather than making it more difficult for yourselves which had happened already since that last goodbye in the bar. Once the realisation settled, the only thing left to do was acknowledge that fact.

“I didn’t. I didn’t see you write in the back, only the front.” Alexia murmured, pausing for a few seconds as the pair of you fell silent. 

The pulse of the music could be faintly heard, as could the distant chatter of people passing by, but none of that mattered when the prospect of the future hung within reach between you both. It was that that had Alexia turning the chair she held onto around and slumping down into it out of shock. The adrenaline had run its course, and now it left a tranquil euphoria, a brewing excitement that took its time to build. 

“So… you haven’t moved on.” You said about a minute later, holding back a smile that broke out anyway when Alexia laughed at it all. 

“No. Not at all.” 

Words seemed a little useless from then on. There were coy smiles on each of your faces afterwards, when everything had been hashed out and made clear despite it being slightly overdue. The only thing you could do was stand from your chair, walk the short distance that separated you both, and gaze down expectantly at Alexia. She stood too, the tables turning so that she was the one looking down now, but that didn’t matter for long, because before you knew it, her arms were back around you and embracing you so tightly that your feet lifted off the ground. You laughed into her neck, which in turn made her laugh too, and then the pair of you were just a mess in each other's arms. 

It felt like someone had come along and stoked the fire in your heart again. The coldness that had settled in your bones at some point during the last months was gone, instead it had been replaced with the love you’d lacked for too long. This time, it didn’t have a time limit, you were free to relish in the fact that from this day on, there was always going to be someone on your side, a person there just for you. And there was a certain level of pride that came in knowing you were going to be that for Alexia too, because the way she held you so close to her heart, metaphorically and in this moment literally too, told you enough about how she felt. 

When you leaned back and looked up at her, you saw the future in her eyes, one that didn’t seem so dauntingly alone and gloomy. There were also tears there too, to your surprise, and it only amplified what you knew about her already; she was made for you. She loved you.

“Please tell me I will not lose you for a second time. I cannot do that again.” She admitted the secret quietly, and before you had even found the words to answer her, the admission was stored away safely in your soul. 

“No, you won’t. I… I think I need you, Ale.” You told her, closing your eyes as you rested your forehead against hers. You sensed the relieving sigh that Alexia let out and shared how she felt; at peace.

“I need you too.” Alexia mumbled in reply, her voice cracking with emotion that for once isn’t drowning her, instead, she feels more alive right now than she had since summer. “Te extrañé mucho. Mucho.” 

You smiled. A genuine one, with no layers or falsity to it. You smiled because you could, because Alexia and all she was in that moment allowed you to feel worth your weight in gold, something that hardly ever came naturally to you. But with the blonde woman holding you so tentatively, firm in her love despite her fears, you owed it to her to provide the reaction her character brought out. 

“I missed you a lot too.” You breathed out, years worth of inadequacy and shame leaving you as you did so. “I’m sorry for causing all this. And for-”

“Why are you apologising?” Alexia cut you off, pulling back from the embrace as her hands gently landed on your shoulders and the frown you had strangely missed came out in full force.

“Because I just made all this so difficult and caused you so much pain for no reason, I should have thought it through more and n-”

“No, don’t.” She shook her head and tugged you back in, her arms around your shoulders and a hand on the back of your head with her thumb stroking up and down comfortingly. “Don’t take yourself down that road. Do not place blame on yourself when there is none there. Please don’t. It is not your fault.” 

All you could do at that was nod into her chest. Alexia’s advice hadn’t failed you thus far, so why stop listening to it now.

“I’m so glad I found you again. In a club of all places.” You said, giggling into her shoulder as she chuckled. 

“I didn’t know you would be here.” Alexia stated, keeping her hands on your waist as her eyes were wide and adoring as they moved all over your face, almost as if she was in disbelief that she was really with you.

“María invited me, I don’t normally come to these things, but… I guess it’s a good job I did.” You replied bashfully, Alexia nodding immediately and making you laugh once more. “She said it was a big occasion or something? I don’t know, but it must be pretty big if the whole club is booked out.”

“It is a big thing. For us, anyway. I…” She glanced up at the building she was in earlier and her smile faltered a little. She was caught in two minds; she wanted to spend time with you, now that you were in her arms she didn’t want to let you out of her sight, but she also had made commitments to be here with her team tonight. It was an abnormality for her to agree to a night like this, but the excitement and the pleading from her teammates made her give in, and their joy at her attendance made it worth it. “The team won a big game earlier, so they wanted to celebrate. I don’t go to these things too. They begged me, so I should probably go back to them.”

“Okay.” You said, trying to disguise the dejection burning through you. Her hands gripped your sides a little tighter, like she knew what her words had done anyway.

“Will you come back in? With me?” She asked hopefully.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to intrude on your time with your team, especially if it’s a big celebra-”

You were interrupted once more, but there wasn’t exactly any complaining from your side. Alexia’s palms were cradling your cheeks, fingertips light and warm on your soft skin, and in much the same way as she did after that first date, she kissed you. Firmly and fervently, months worth of longing reaching its peak and crumbling with each movement of your lips. It was just as mind-numbing as you remembered- you’d thought a lot about those few kisses in Menorca and how you hadn’t had enough. There was no way you could ever wait that long for one again.

“You will not ‘intrude’ on us, I promise. If I could, I would take you on a date right now, but they will be angry if I do. When you are around, there’s no one else I want to spend time with.” Her eyes bored into yours as she held your face securely in her hands, ensuring you couldn’t look anywhere but at her and take in the honesty of her words. “I want you there. You.”

“I’ll go with you.” You responded like you were in a trance. You basically were: entranced by the affirmation that she wants you and you only. The blonde grinned and ducked down again to kiss you, more than content to revel in your touch now that she has you again. 

After that, Alexia took your hand tight in hers and led you back into the club. You trailed behind her, happy to follow her lead, blushing each time she looked back at you with her charming smile that overflowed with utter joy, until you found yourselves back in the main area of the club. Understandably, the vast group of people you didn’t recognise, probably Alexia’s teammates, were partying hard together. There were people on each others’ shoulders, drinks being spilt, some rather abysmal and slurred singing, and a number of new faces that lit up when they saw Alexia again. 

“Some of them are a bit loco. You will get used to them.” Alexia said into your ear, and when she moved back to gauge your reaction, she instantly recognised the uncertainty in your expression. Her arm curled around your waist, her lips pressed a kiss to your shoulder, and she gave a reassuring smile. “I will be with you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Like always, she stuck to her promise. Not for a second did she leave your side as she celebrated, introduced you to her teammates, and hardly took her eyes off you. Some part of her was always touching you, whether that be her arm around your shoulders, her hand brushing against hers as a finger linked with yours, a palm resting on your lower back as she guided you through the bustling room. And though it took some time to settle into the crowdedness, you eventually found yourself joining in with her teammates as they danced and took you in like one of their own.

Throughout the night, the blonde midfielder couldn’t hold back the smile on her face. Watching you fit right in with the people she considered family, whilst knowing to some degree how much you struggled with these things, flooded her with so much admiration and appreciation for you. It reached a new level, and though it was something she didn’t understand, each second she spent with you she felt herself falling more and more in love. Even if you did say ridiculous things like…

“You know what my favourite thing is about football? When you guys sit there at the side with your little blankets like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” 

She might have rolled her eyes at the declaration, but somehow she adored you impossibly more after it. Especially when the group of her teammates you were with burst out laughing at it, some firing off into teasing arguments at it as you turned to Alexia and gave her a beaming smile at the reaction. Before any of the others could wrap you up in a conversation again, she simply took your hand like she did earlier and walked you both over to the bar. Mapi, who had been part of that group and had almost passed out from pure elation when she saw the pair of you walk in together at the start of the night, watched you leave and nudged Ingrid vigorously. The poor Norwegian had been subject to all of the defender’s speculation and conspiracies of what had transpired between her two friends, and the dark-haired woman wasn’t sure if it was that or the current overwhelming excitement of her girlfriend that was worse. 

Alexia ordered new drinks for you both at the bar, before turning to where you stood beside her and smiling softly down at you. You entertained her gaze, mirroring her smile as you waited for her to speak. But instead of doing so, she moved to stand behind you and tugged you back against her while her arms enveloped you completely. Her chin found home on your shoulder, her heart bursting at the seams when she heard you let out a content sigh. She turned her face into your neck then, discreetly scattering kisses up and down the skin there. 

“Ale, what are you doing? All your teammates are here.” You told her quietly, leaning back into her and covering her arms with yours.

“Me da igual. Tendrás que perdonarme por ser tan pegajosa, pero no puedo apartar los ojos ni las manos de ti.” Alexia murmured, reaching around to grab her glass and take a sip from it, before focusing her attention back to you by kissing you. Her lips were cold from the ice of her drink, but they quickly warmed up against yours as she indulged in the kiss without a care for her surroundings. It was only when your drink was placed on the wood of the bar that she broke it off, smirking down at you and the blush to your cheeks. 

If this was how she was going to act, you didn’t want the night to end. 

Fortunately for you, it didn’t. Something you had learnt over the years was that the Spanish knew how to have a good night, and this was no different. The music kept coming, the euphoria kept running, and the dancing didn’t stop for a second. As the hours went on, Alexia came more and more out of her shell, and you saw a new side of her that made you weak at the knees. 

Her actions got bolder as her inhibitions left her, and if she was clingy before, that only increased. Even when she substituted her alcohol for water, as did you, her affection continued to pour out. You were more than happy to revel in all she had to give. This was what you had longed for since the summer, and it still felt surreal that you were here right now. 

Seeing Alexia so carefree and happy sparked the same feelings in you, it willed you to be just as open and unabashed in your joy, and it was fastly turning into one of the best times of your life because of it. But there were other feelings too, ones that were becoming quite unavoidable as they built up throughout the evening. And when the celebrations somehow amped up, there was a certain level of acknowledgement between you and Alexia. Your eyes communicated that to each other, coy smiles shared between you both in anticipation.

The pair of you continued to dance together, none the wiser to the partying around you anymore. You were more than content to stay in your own little bubble, allowing the tense thrill to grow whilst waiting for the other to make the first move. Unsurprisingly, it was Alexia who cracked, her next actions conveying the desperation that fizzed between the two of you. 

“I think I said I had to make it up to you after our first date, no?” She hummed from behind you, one arm around your stomach as the other brushed your hair from your neck so that she could attach her lips to your pulse as she awaited your answer.

“Yes. Please.” The second word slipped out unknowingly, only realising what you had said after Alexia smirked into your skin. Her confidence radiated from her, and you took it and ran with it. “Don’t act like you don’t need it too, la reina.”

“Don’t call me that.” She grumbled and you turned in her hold with a raised eyebrow, your arms linking around her neck. 

“What would you like instead?” You challenged, feeling her hands tighten their grasp just slightly.

“You know. Ale. Alexia.” You hummed and nodded, leaning a little closer and kissing her jaw on your way to placing your lips beside her ear.

“And where would you prefer me to call you that? Here, in this club where you can hardly hear me with your friends all around? Or in your apartment, in your bed?” 

It was that final question from you that had her breathing in sharply and leading you out of the club for the final time that night. Earlier, when you left in a rush, you were wracked with anxiety and self-doubt. Now, you laughed with the woman you loved as she flagged down a taxi and clambered in behind you. She listed off her address as you gazed meekly at her from your seat, heart eyes so glaringly obvious despite the dim light of the car. Granted, she could probably feel your stare more than she could see it, though there wasn’t much else that the midfielder wanted to focus her attention on. 

She smirked and shook her head when she noticed, her hand travelling across the middle seat and reaching its destination on your thigh. You placed your own over it, squeezing it once and averting your eyes to the city’s scenery that passed by, unable to maintain your infatuated look due to the overloading feeling of ardour that reinforced itself every time the footballer was in your vicinity. 

Throughout the car ride to Alexia’s apartment, it was majoritively silent, bar the deafening beating of your heart in your ears that grew in its volume the closer you got. The driver’s GPS sounded out as he parked outside the building, and Alexia rushed to pay him before getting out and offering her hand to you. You took it with a shy grin, swinging it between you both as you made your way inside.

Back at the club, the tension was palpable and unmistakably charged. However, it had taken a turn during the short journey. Now it was teeming with nerves, both aware of what faces you when you step foot in that apartment. There’s exhilaration and simmering desire too due to how much you want it, it was something that had been thought about individually late at night. Ultimately, this would add a whole new layer to the growing relationship, and neither of you wanted to wait a second longer to be able to savour the aftermath and the moment. 

And in the end, it was inexplicably better than you could have imagined. Once the initial awkwardness wore off, the desperation took over and gave the night a tale to tell. You hadn’t experienced anything like it– it was tentative and ineffably intimate and something you wouldn’t forget. It was perfect. 

Most importantly, it didn’t leave you in a pit of anxiety afterwards. Being able to freely relish in the moment when it was over in the comforting hold of the figure you loved so wholly was something you appreciated greatly. Words wouldn’t do it justice, what it meant to you. All you could do was return the benevolence handed to you on a silver platter and hope that Alexia understood the gravity behind your actions. 

The sheets covered your sated bodies, you with your head on her chest as her arms held you securely and sincerely, and they rustled when she reached over into her bedside table for something. You leaned up a little in confusion, watching her curiously as she searched around the drawer, only to pull out the bane of your existence.

“What are you doing with that?” You asked humorously, nestling back down into the warm, sturdy body beneath you. 

She had gotten out your book. With a hum, she opened it and flicked to the back page. There she found your number, written clearly just as you had told her. 

“I don’t believe it.” Alexia mumbled, one of her fingers tracing the ink there. “It really was there.”

Quietly, without disrupting the serenity of the room that had settled, you took it from her hands and dropped it onto the table on your side. Then you turned back to her, brushing some strands of hair from her face as you rested upon your elbows and cupped her face. You looked at her with a pointed gaze, leaning down to place a slow, meaningful kiss to her lips, before pulling back.

“Forget about that. We’re here now.” You whispered, thumbs stroking softly over her cheekbones as she accepted your words, willing herself out of that regretful mindset. Because she had you, right where she wanted you.

“We’re here now.” She repeated with a loving smile, one you instantly reciprocated as you nodded at her response.

On a night like this, there wasn’t much else that needed to be said. So you laid back down then, on your side as Alexia copied your position with the covers pulled up to your shoulders, face to face and barely able to make out each other’s features in the dark room. 

That book, the one you nervously handed over to Alexia back in Menorca, was possibly one of the most revealing things you had done. It didn’t quite go the way you expected it to go, but it didn’t matter in the end. You got the result you wanted and it was so much better than you anticipated. There was still a lot to learn, about each other and the lives you led, though nothing felt unaccomplishable now that you had Alexia on your team. 

Alexia didn’t quite know when your book had moved from the top of the table into the drawer, but it probably had something to do with how much it hurt to look at. It still didn’t fill her with the best thoughts whenever she saw it. She had no doubts that you being with her now would change that. She could see herself reading it in the near future, with you on the opposite end of the sofa, your feet in her lap as she got a glimpse into your soul. New memories could be made with it, and even right now, despite the grievances she had with it, it was still something she treasured deeply and she knew that would only become more true as time went on. 

In your current position, you could just make out how deeply she was looking at you. There were a lot of things swirling around those favourite eyes of yours, but it was the insecurities there that you hadn’t noticed previously which caught your attention. Wordlessly, you willed her to voice them, and she did.

“Things might get difficult sometimes.” She began, and you acknowledged it with a gentle nod and a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “There is… a lot that comes with my job that I do not enjoy. I am afraid it will come between us.”

You could only guess what she meant. Finding out exactly what that was, was a task for another day. Right now, she needed your belief and your assurances, you knew that.

“I don’t care about that. As long as you promise that I’ll have you, then I don’t care about anything else. I only need you, that’s all. The rest is just background noise.” You told her, pleased to see those doubts dissipate before you, her whole body language changing as it did.

“You do. You do have me. I promise.” Alexia stated firmly, quietly sighing out of relief and exhaustion.

The day was beginning to take its toll on her. It had been pretty packed, with a full game of fiercely competitive football, partying, a whole load of emotions, and the events afterwards that had gotten her to this point. Sleep didn’t come so easily to you, even after all that had happened. You gladly took the extra time to rake your eyes over Alexia’s face, who seemed so at peace as she began to drift off. There was a brief moment where you envied that fact, but you shoved that thought away as quick as it came, because that was the old you. There was a new version of you now, and it was one that did have the capability to experience that very same tranquillity that Alexia was in the midst of. And it was all down to her, the woman resting in your arms. 

There was just one more thing you needed clarity about, and it unfortunately meant disturbing the blonde’s bliss, but it couldn’t wait.

“Ale, will you go on a date with me?” You asked shyly, waiting for her reaction with a grimace, for what reason you weren’t sure of. She chuckled under her breath and subtly shook her head, which was indeed not what you were looking for, until she spoke before you could panic.

“You really just asked that after we spent the evening together and had sex?” 

Your hand covered her mouth immediately, though the damage was already done and she laughed at that fact. 

“It was a simple question that needed a simple yes or no.” You attempted to come across as serious, but there was a smile already there as Alexia pulled your hand away and nodded. 

Her lips found yours in what you thought could be deemed as the softest kiss in mankind, before she leans back just enough to be able to murmur her answer against your lips.

“You don’t have to ask.”

—

there's a bit of pressure and nerves that comes with writing a part two like this so i hope i took the right path with the plot and that it was worth the wait 🙃

[hailthedoll]

Dating Euronymous Would Include...

a/n: y'all don't hate me. all I'm gonna say is, if you have a issue move along, thanks;)

-ok so

-i truthfully could only imagine this man meeting someone somewhere that is music related

maybe at a mayhem show or maybe at his store

either way the fact that you were there was enough for him to be interested

or maybe intrigued is a better word

its not like there hasn't been other girls at shows or his shop before but you????

he thought you were beautiful

and different. he was so attracted to you.

but he is NOT the type of guy who tries to flirt or make a move on a random girl he finds attractive

if you're at his store it would more so be like he walks up to you and asks if you're looking for something and then just lets the conversation go from there

now dating

ok ok

you truly get the "best" of both worlds

on one hand you get this guy who's in a band and he looks cool and does cool black metal band shit(?)

but then on the other hand you get oystein.

a dark and mysterious guy in a band

but also a sweetheart who just wants to baby you

he tries SO HARD to come off as this evil satanic guy

like its his image yk?

but with you? completely different

euronymous and oystein. BIG DIFFERENCE

oystein is a COMPLETE sweetheart who is SWEPT FOR YOU

he just loves you and he wants to be with you all the time and hold you and be held by you

and he wants you to hear new music he's working on

and for you to come and see the band live every time they perform

he wants you to be right there so that when they're done performing he can come and find you and see your reaction to it

he just really wants you to be proud of him and to be by his side during it all

euronymous now

hes a "dark", "evil", little man

he puts on this act whenever you guys are around others who know him as that

but no matter what he does or what he says to help create this evil image for others he wants you to know that who he says he is isn't really him and its all an act.

being with him you're often around people or things that were just not socially normal, and he understood this

he would always make sure you were comfortable

if not he would either find ways to make you more comfortable or just keep you away from that part of his life.

he wants your input and approval on things

he does corpse paint?

ok what do you think of it?

he got a new jacket?

great! but how do you feel about it?

oh and the way you will be used for stuff like this

guess who's helping him dye his hair?

guess who will help him do his corpse paint?

you, you, you, and only you.

i can see him as the type who just talks about his dreams and goals

like you two can be sitting together , doing nothing

and he'll just be sharing all of his thoughts and dreams as to what he wants black metal and mayhem to turn into

he goes on these long talking sprees where just tells you his opinions on music and artists and how he feels about certain people and things

he is very open with you about everything

the trust this man has in you..

he is SU-PPOR-TIVE

he'd wanna hear what your dreams are and would want to figure out ways to support you to make them come true

like oh you wanna be a doctor? ok. this man is lowkey like smart smart

and he will stay up all night studying with you

oh you wanna be a musician? brotha owns a record store

where people come just to hang out

he is spreading the word

"yeah my gf makes music it's really good"

"oh you like that band? well i'd recommend my gfs music then because it is pretty gooood"

hes very thoughtful and caring

he may not be able to afford these expensive, lavish gifts even tho he would like to

so instead he does what he can

flowers, songs, a vinyl you've been wanting

maybe there was something you mentioned very briefly

he heard you and he'll get it for you

maybe you mentioned that you wanted this meal that you used to eat when you were younger

he will attempt to make it and surprise you with it

if he does splurge its on something that you can keep forever

jewelry, memories, etc.

you are this mans peace

when times get rough for him like idk the media wont leave him alone

he just wants you

he spends majority of his time trying to find ways to be vile and controversial

and is surrounded by yk some weird things...

youre the escape from that

you are his muse

and his light in his dark and evil world

a/n: the way I literally second guessed everything ik about him and mayhem while I was writing this. I also had this written it and then when I went to post it, it was GONE????? so I had to rewrite and I don't like this one at all but it will do for now. maybe I'll redo it after I give it a rest and not second guess everything???

[gamesetart]

ohhhhh idk something about both of them trying to get you back into their lives at once, behind each other’s back. for themselves, yeah, but as a gift to the other. They just need to figure out how to get their claws in you first!!

and when Tashi breaks through first— when she invites you out to a “business dinner” that ends with the two of you in the backseat of her fancy ass car and you’re on your knees taking care of her the way you used to— the way art didn’t know about <3 messy and slick and her hand is in your hair and she’s telling you what a good job you’re doing, that she needed this, needing you.

But she’s Married. And you think about Art and feel that sad ache in your chest, like a missing part of you. You’ve always had a soft spot for him, of course you did. He was a good boyfriend, until the end when he started getting distant. You couldn’t hurt him the way you currently were. With Tashi’s taste on your mouth and her looking at you like you’re some magical missing piece that can fix her life.

So you’re the first to leave. Tell her it’s a mistake and you Can’t do it. You think about texting Art, but he texts you first. “Can I see you?” And you think he knows, that you’re going to have to explain and apologize. Then you get a second text from him. “I just miss you.”

And you’re sitting there thinking about how fucked up their marriage is.

Okay byeeeee

being possibly The Only Person privvy to how absolutely fucked up the donaldson marriage has to be the best and worst position on earth.

because you didn't, nay, couldn't imagine tashi had ulterior motives when she invited you to dinner. how could you? you've seen their press conferences. hell, you were invited to their wedding. (a shitshow for another day). they have a beautiful marriage and a beautiful daughter and a beautiful life.

still, you've never been able to feel totally... secure around tashi. so you shave every inch of yourself. you polish your skin in the shower until you glitter. you do your hair just the right way, perfect around your face. you put on your favorite dress, a gorgeous little black number that laces up the back and shows off perfect, tennis player legs. you remember the way you were - just before art, when it was just you and tashi, and you spent ages together under covers, trading kisses, tangling limbs.

(there wasn't ever an overlap, but you always did feel a little guilty never telling art you and tashi used to hook up. probably it would have fucked with his head. or he would have cum his pants.)

so you're astonished when you end up in that backseat. tashi tastes so familiar, and it feels so right to be back like this, doing the one thing you knew you did best: please her. she might have been the better tennis player, but you'll be damned if you aren't the best lay she's ever had. and for a moment, it's nothing but perfect as she looks down at you, ankles braced on the front seats, smiling coyly. telling you how much she's missed you, how much she's "missed this, baby, you're doing so good for me, that's it, that's it, fuck, just like that--" and it's amazing how well you still remember exactly what to do with your tongue, exactly how to drag her orgasms from her sweet, sweet cunt.

you leave, hop out of her car and take yourself home. you tell her this can't happen again, and maybe its best if you avoid each other at events for the near future. tashi doesn't expect that to hurt, but she also didn't expect you to be able to turn her down like that. you never did before. oh, my darling, she thinks, you've grown. tashi loves to get what she wants, and she will. but shes a little bit pleased you're so assertive now. it'll be that much sweeter when she finally does land you.

it'd kill art to hear it from you. a betrayal of the worst kinds, to the boy you dated all those years ago and the man you're still a decent friend with - the one who greets you with a hug at every social event, the one who danced with you at your first olympics event, when you hovered awkwardly at the edge of the dance floor. the one who texts you updates about his life and meets you for brunch if you're both in town. the friendship with art is distant, and you rarely meet in person, but it's there. you're bound together by that year at stanford. by the loss of your virginity on your ballet-slipper pink dorm room bedsheets. by the locket with his face in it he gave you for your six months. by the leather bracelet you wrapped around his wrist. by every kiss, every hand held, every sweet nothing in the middle of the night. and every bit of purely platonic friendship after.

but you should tell him. bear the brunt of his hurt. you deserve it, you tell yourself. and you're going to, too, you draft the text in your notes app and everything. prepare yourself, the next day, to send it but you don't need to.

art 🌻 3:23 pm

can i see you?

your heart falls into the floor and you think, oh, god, he knows, he knows and i didn't tell him and its all my fault and he knows--

but then the second message comes in. after a minute or two, like he was debating sending it.

i just miss you.

and you realise for all their publicity, for all the game changers posters and the matching public smiles, the donaldsons are one fucked up couple.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Cooking with Felix ‗ ❍

Pairing : Felix x f reader

Summary : chapter six of a cute standalone miniseries. It's what it says in the title

Genre/ Warnings : scenario/imagine/headcanon, drabble, fluff, crack lol, disasters in the kitchen but that's it

Word count : 990 words (longest yet)

A/n : Just got the news that him and Seungmin are living together...they'll live off brownies and cookies I fear. Also the green muffins story it's true, that's me I'm bitches

ps: There could be grammar errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

masterlist

series masterpost

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You and Felix both had a thing for the kitchen. Wether this was good or bad, well, it depended on the situation.

Felix had an extraordinary gift for baking sweets, specifically. His cookies, banana bread and brownies were renowned for being amazing. And that's honestly impressive, it does take a certain type of precision to bake.

On the other hand, when it came to actual cooking...like salty meals...well!

He tried. He really tried. He just didn't have the same gift at handling salt as he had with sugar. Like than one time he wanted to surprise you and tried key word tried to cook seafood pasta...

"Hi Lixie" you called out as soon as you arrived home.

"Hi angel, I'm in here!" he replied, and when you understood that his voice was coming from the kitchen, as well a certain smell, you just had to take a deep breath before walking in.

"Oh wow! Did you make something nice?" the sweetness in your tone along with a kiss on his cheek covered a bit of the fear.

He smiled widely, making a funny excited noise as he kept stirring the spaghetti and sauce in the pan. To be fair the smell was not bad per se, it was just a bit strong since it was seafood. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

"So how is it? I actually added a bit of spices because I didn't think the color of the sauce was quite right." he talked casually, as you sucked in the inside of your cheeks to try and desperately activate some salivation as well as sedate the sting caused from the pepper.

"Mmh", you took a generous sip of water nodding, more to try and not disappoint him too much than to agree.

"It's certainly...savory" you smiled, clearing your throat, "Maybe a bit too spicy for me you know? I'm a bit weak ahah"

His face drops a bit, in confusion at first, since he knows that's a lie and you handle spice well. Or better than him, regardless.

So he reaches for his fork, rolling some of the spaghetti on it, then putting it into his mouth.

As soon as he chomps down, his jaw freezes. His brown eyes glaring at you like you cooked the damn pasta.

"How is-"

"Shut up" he interrupts while spitting the bite out in a piece of paper.

But thankfully he barely, if ever, got baking wrong. It had become almost a 'saving grace' for Felix. He had to bring a housewarming or dinner gift? Cake or sweet bread. He wanted to make a snack for you or the members? Brownies or cookies. He needed to ask forgiveness? Pick either of the previous options.

On the other hand, if that was his strong point, it definitely wasn't yours. The most you could do was have pre-packed and measured ingredients, maybe then you could avoid fucking it up.

Lord knows you became as much as a liability as he did when you tried to use the oven.

As soon as the boys finally got a break, Felix walked back to his bag, fishing out his phone, actually meaning to write to you.

But you wrote first! And what he saw made him a little worried but mainly smile, endeared. It's just his nature to always be positive after all.

hi bub <3 how's practice going?

I saw this recipe on tiktok and I kinda tried to make it with what we had at home lol

It's still in the oven tho so I think they'll be ready just in time when you get home

say hi from me, laters <3

Felix smiled and responded with a selfie of himself pouting, saying he can't wait to be home and wash up. And was also looking forward to this treat!

Famous last words...

"Okay I need you to be a bit open minded right now"

"Right" he nodded, still in his practice clothes. He had just stepped foot into the apartment and already smelled something burning.

"They- uh- listen they're a bit ugly, a bit melted let's say...but it doesn't mean they'll taste bad!" he was genuinely trying not to laugh with all his might, seeing you so flustered.

"Let's see the creatures, then"

"Oh my God don't call them that" you yelled, effectively making him lose his shit and start laughing. He raised his hands in defeat.

"I'm just saying! I don't even know what you made, you keep calling them 'them'!" he explained. You waved him off with one hand.

"Yeah yeah, okay", you bent down a bit to open the oven, which actually didn't exactly smell bad, it just smelled a bit intense. You probably overcooked whatever it was, he thought.

Nothing could've prepared him for the absolute failed laboratory experiments that you put on the table. He truly couldn't even tell what they were supposed to be. Mini cakes? Muffins?

The only indication was the paper wrappers that, fortunately, contained the -most certainly- radioactive results.

He bit his bottom lip, slowly walking closer to inspect the situation.

"So...what were they supposed to be, angel?"

"Uh...blueberry muffins?" you responded sheepishly. He nodded slowly, closing his eyes to try and contain himself.

"I see." he courageously reached to take a tiny piece of dugh -the one that didn't explode, that is- and tasted it.

He chewed, genuinely trying to savor it and see if it was any good. He sighed.

"I think that something was wrong in the main dough, angel. That's why it kinda exploded and didn't rise properly." he explained sweetly, pulling you closer by the waist.

"How about we set aside these green hulk babies and tomorrow, since I've got the day off, we don't try again together?" he smiled when he say you smile behind the hand covering your face.

"Okay" your voice sounded small, like a scolded kid. He chuckled, kissing your forehead at your cuteness.

"Okay."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[creedslove]

mariii, i’d love it if you wrote something with post-outbreak joel, if possible, in jackson, where you two go on patrol, you have a thing between you, like — you act like an already married couple but you aren’t actually married, and in that little patrol, you two go together and can’t keep your hands to yourselves? 👀

like, you’re riding your horse and he can’t keep his eyes off you and your hips, he finds you alluring and sexy in everything that you do.

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I love this so much 🥺

• when Joel got to Jackson with Ellie, he didn't fit it right away with people, it wasn't surprising at all, not only because of his private nature and the social skills he seemed to lack, but also because it was kind of difficult to adapt to normality after two decades of living through hell

• so it was expected he would struggle at that matter for a while, but when he didn't approach anyone through the months that followed his arrival, it was clear he wasn't one to socialize and that was fine, Jackson people had more to worry about other than finding Joel Miller friends

• and yet, for some reason, he just let you in; in the beginning he was distant, it could seem he was being cold or rude, but that wasn't really the truth, deep down, under all the layers of hurt and trauma, Joel Miller was still a southern gentleman at heart and he would never treat a pretty lady as roughly as that

• but the moment you were both assigned to patrol together, eventually you both got to know each other a bit better by chatting, sharing some bits of personal information here and there and overall hanging out

• turns out Joel was a lot nicer than you had previously thought, he was including a little sweet - to you at least, and to be honest, that was all that mattered because you couldn't give a shit about how he would treat other women

• in reality, you were already jealous of the possibility of Joel liking another woman, and showing her the same kind of warmth and affection, but you wouldn't admit it anyway

• so it was natural your friendship went beyond your patrol shifts, as you very often spent time with each other around town, whether taking a shift together at some other job or spending your free time together as well

• and it didn't take very long for you to hang out at each other's place; Joel didn't mind fixing things up for you here and there, and you also didn't mind cooking him and Ellie dinner, making some real meals so they'd eat something else other than sandwiches and of course, spoil them a little by baking cookies, bread or anything you could find really

• you didn't mind washing his clothes just as he didn't mind helping you fold his and yours as well, you didn't mind dusting his furniture just as he didn't mind sweeping the floor

• and you both didn't mind keeping each other's gardens neat, fruitful and beautiful

• whenever you were out on patrol or just looking for supplies, you would always find small gifts and treats for each other, or for Ellie, which melted his old broken heart even if he didn't admit it

• it came to the point both you and Joel simply couldn't imagine your lives in Jackson without each other; it was just so natural, so good and comforting to have each other's backs and Joel came to the realization his old broken heart wasn't that broken anymore, not since he met you, because it hit off differently, and he liked it

• and as he'd always been attracted to you, ever since he realized that maybe he didn't think you were *just* pretty, and he wasn't sure that all that affection he felt was *just* w regular friendship, he started yearning for you

• at the same time he was afraid of ruining your relationship because honestly, what could assure him you liked him the same way? maybe you were doing all that just because you were nice or he was a little insecure

• so he kept his feelings for you, at the same time he barely could hide it, always caressing you, looking for excuses to touch you and be close to you

• and you both behaved like a couple, which was adorable to be honest

• and when you were out on patrol, Joel couldn't keep his eyes off you: your body, your back, your hips, your hair, everything about it was so beautiful to him

• while you two were on resting during a break, Joel offered you a bottle of water, sitting next to you and telling how pretty you were that day, which made you blush, because even if he was always gentle and sweet, he'd never talked to you like that

• you thanked him and replied by saying he was handsome and you two were a little flushed but the conversation went on until he finally took courage and stole a kiss from you

• and you kissed him back

• and that was just the beginning of the beautiful romance you shared with Joel, after only a few months dating, he decided to propose even if marriages weren't really a thing in the apocalypse, it was a thing for you, because you were his wife and he would love you and cherish until the end

____

[xjulixred45x]

Lotor x Pearl!GN! Reader

Request: Now that the requests are open I want to do one about Voltron (again), about Lotor headcanons with a reader who is like a pearl from Steven Universe, who probably was a "gift" from his governess, I imagine that reader @ is a very scared but sweet person who is afraid of disappointing Lotor and that he will throw them away because of that (traumas from the past before meeting him). I just want some comfort from one of my favorite Voltron characters💕

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: Gender neutral

Warnings: allusions/mentions of past abuse, reader at first treated more like an object than a person, fear of abandonment, somewhat confusing timeline for the sake of the plot? HURT with Comfort, Fluff, non-canon ending of Voltron for my sanity :') Lotor What have they done to you?

You come from a very... special planet to say the least.

Especially you were born in a social caste that was considered the lowest, so you were trained all your life to be the future accessory of a powerful person. As bad as it sounded.

This was obviously not a pleasant process, especially with the Garla empire breathing down your planet's neck.

You could say that you got especially ruthless training, the slightest mistake was severely reprimanded, only to know that if you did it in REAL practice you most likely wouldn't come out alive...

Then the Garla Empire took possession of your planet. Everyone was terrified of what could happen, YOU were terrified of what was going to happen to you.

But fortunately? You were given as a personal servant to the Garla, along with many others, in exchange for not destroying the planet completely.

But you were lucky enough that it was your turn to serve the Prince of the Garla, Lotor.

This was before the Paladins intervened, so even when they arrived, this still stood.

To say that you were scared was to say, you were terrified of what was going to happen. What if he was one of those super strict princes? What if he had a bad temper? What if he got angry with you and got physical? And If it hurts you? Or worse?

You set out to be as correct and upright as possible for this new position, apparently you would be a gift, well, maybe you don't have to do much, you can do this.

Dayak barely talks to you, although the first time you meet her is only so she can give you a checkup to make sure you live up to her expectations, and fortunately you are and she seems very satisfied.

Before meeting this "Lotor" she gives you a tour of the Garla main ship in a vague way so that you become familiar with everything and thus adapt quickly before seeing Lotor. The ship is GIANT so it takes a while.

Although at least with this you can hear some people talking and whispering about Lotor, apparently the winner of the "Kral Zera", the first Half-Blood emperor and Zarkon's heir...someone to have fear apparently.

Let's just say they didn't make you feel much better.

But at the end of the day you finally meet him. Is he together with what appear to be the paladins of Voltron? And Dayak makes his presence quite noticeable (poor paladin Blue and especially yellow).

Before retiring, Dayak introduced you to Lotor, as his new personal assistant, to serve him in any way he wanted.

To your surprise, Lotor seemed just as off guard as you, it seems that he had forgotten the deal with the Kral Zera matter, it is understandable, but it was especially shocking when he apologized to you because he could not introduce himself properly, since he had a VERY busy day with the Voltron thing...

....weren't you supposed to come help him with that? What Quiznak?

You tried to tell him that, that you could help him manage that, but he said no! That for now he could handle himself well, but that you should give him time to think of something for you...

okay that was VERY strange

But a nice strange? Lotor was not like you thought he would be.

Even when he finally did what he had to do with the Paladins and Princess Allura (love of a person), he still treated you with a respect you weren't used to.

you were mainly in charge of his agenda with the other Garla leaders and works like that, together with the Paladins and Princess Allura, etc. It wasn't a heavy job, but it required attention to detail and you definitely went out of your way to make it perfect.

And contrary to what you thought, you received some recognition from your, so to speak, Boss (because Lotor hated it when you called him "master" or "owner"), Lotor was grateful that you helped him and that you were so diligent, He let you know when he kept you up to date.

You could even have conversations with him! It wasn't something you had been prepared for in the least, but it was nice, Lotor was someone very intelligent and even had an interesting sarcastic sense of humor. You learned a lot by talking to him.

In turn, Lotor learned more about your species based on his experience with you, although at first it was difficult for him, because you insisted on keeping a certain distance, but he was able to make his way through your walls.

He found you quite pleasant and even charming! Lotor always tried to see other species with equal respect, and for you to see him from such a high place (without the need for violence, just doing his job) made him feel very good about himself.

And the feeling was mutual.

It made you feel calmer about all of this, that everything was going better than you thought. You had ended up with an owner--ahem, Boss- who was nicer than you expected and everything seemed fine--

But then you made a MISTAKE.

You were trying to get used to one of the controls on Lotor's main ship and out of nowhere the controls stopped working. They didn't respond, didn't work and seemed glitched.

You realized that you had pressed the wrong places (used to the mothership controls) and that you had "messed up" this one.

But all you could think about was the trouble you'd get into with Lotor.

Oh no oh no oh no What am I going to do? What are they're going to do to me? They're going to have to throw me away, right? How can I get through this? What if they kill me? What if--

You were so panicked that when Lotor arrives you don't notice.

And it only makes you even more afraid.

Lotor asks what happened, but he starts checking the console on his own and realizes what happened, he knows what you did--

And you can't stand the urge to cry anymore.

Lotor honestly freaks out, he thought you would have gotten hurt and that's why you were crying so much, but you were apologizing for breaking the console, and saying that you were fine with being replaced with someone more capable as long as please, please don't kill you...

Even if he didn't show it much on the outside (it's a habit up to this point he's sorry for it), it hurt Lotor to see you like this. And even more so for something so small. Is this why you thought he was going to replace you? Kill you?? Although he sees that it's mostly because you've been traumatized before, so he's not offended (at all).

Lotor tries to calm you down, explain to you that it's not a big deal. It's not broken! It just needs to restart! Please don't cry! He's not going to replace you! Much less touch a hair on your head! You are save with him...

He ends up fixing the console to prove his point and you calm down, something like that, both of your emotions are running high.

From there, you are a little more alert for your possible "mistakes" and honestly, Lotor misses how you were before this little incident, now it seems like you are walking on eggshells (Whatever that means? The blue Paladin said it ) when you are around him.

He discovers that he misses talking to you more than he thought, he is not someone who gets attached easily, but finally having someone who respected him as a person and not as Prince Garla and that you are now in this scared state hurts him.

So it does something... surprising.

He asks the Paladins and Allura for help.

Obviously some make fun of him a little ahem LANCE AND PIDGE ahem, but for the most part they try to give him good advice on how to approach the situation, although they all have a common idea.

TALK IT DIRECTLY or let you adjust naturally again (which seemed unlikely without the former).

So he did it, he call you to speak alone.

Sincerely? You almost died of fright. This on your planet was a VERY BAD omen, VERY BAD.

so imagine your surprise when Lotor was REALLY alone when you went to see him, but you still remained nervous, this man could destroy you with just one arm after all.

But Lotor...just talks.

And he gets straight to the point, he does NOT plan to replace you, he does NOT plan to hurt you, he does not want you to think that you are so expendable, especially when he has come to enjoy your company so much, you can rest assured, mistakes happen, we ALL make them, he prefers that you make them. a thousand mistakes to not having you at all.

Being honest? It was quite nice.

And you were able to be more...at peace with yourself after that. Be the sweet assistant again.

If we talk about advanced terms of a romantic relationship, IT'S PURE FLUFF.

Lotor has shown that he doesn't give a shit about race, so he has no problem relating to you even if you're not even half Garla. What if someone has a problem? They won't have it anymore :)

If your planet is still under the control of the Garla, it is most likely that Lotor has forced them to have laws and a more egalitarian legislature, your people have not lived so well in decapheobes! Of course, there are those who are still not used to it and others who are directly against it, but that always happens.

Lotor is patient when it comes to old wizard habits, chances are you'll still be that way! But more as a consort😅

Get ready, now that it is certain that he loves you and that you love him too, there is no escape from affection. Lotor is aware that he's touch-starved, but when you discover through this that YOU'RE touch-starved TOO, it's like, the perfect mix.

Lotor is the most openly affectionate, which helps you gain some courage to do the same, although of course, when it comes to making the other person nervous, you never win (although Lotor MELT inside seeing you try).

Lots of physical contact!! Especially at events with too many people and where you can easily feel overloaded, it's a quick way to calm yourself down and for Lotor to be happy and calm (literally, if they want to calm him down they have to bring you into the room and he's INSTANTLY in a good mood again).

You have a friendship with Allura! She jokingly says that you're too good for Lotor, but in a loving way.

The Paladins don't understand how Quiznak, someone as sweet as you ended up with Lotor. Did they threaten you? Blink twice if so--

Your nature is now a little more curious, you see everything with new eyes, it is something tender for Lotor, for him most of these things are everyday, but for you it is something new and even unique, it is nice.

He also now handles your crises better when PTSD strikes, takes you somewhere spacious, keeps some distance so you can breathe better, and when you recover he is on you for the rest of the day, quite worried.

In general, Lotor sees his partner with equal respect and love regardless of their race, social status or how they met, he loves you regardless of everything or how you perceive yourself. You are his equal, his partner, nothing changes that.

Reblogs, shares and Comments are very welcome!!

[d4wn13]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ┆ꜰᴀʟꜱᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇ

⚠ ᴄᴀᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ⚠: °{Hint of depression(?), terrible rizz/embarrassing moments for user... User think they that which they ain't at all-}°

.

.

.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : » [Cupid] «

┆ ⤿ 💌 ⌗Jack Stauber's Micropop ┆

0:00 〇────── 3:40

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

.

.

.

.

.

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓻𝔂 ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───

September 30th.... 2020... A day I wouldn't forget... Having that deadly virus, that name is Covid! It resulted in many people it's victims with their deadly virus !!!

resulting in people who weren't infected to seek at their own home, having to socialize with anyone through a phone or Zoom !

It's not that bad tbh !!! Maybe it because... I'm not the best to socialize, only having a small group of friends who have known me for years already. And thinking about making friends makes me nervous...

Well, recently, I was begging my ma only getting Resident Evil 2 recently... Having watched multiple videos by YouTubers playing the game and loved every minute ! But of course, my ma doesn't care at all and just refuses not even giving a glance to my interest...

UGHH, I hoped Ma would listen to me for once and actually give you a gift without anyways judging.... Maybe this cou-

.

¡¡¡ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ¡¡¡

.

𐔌ᴜꜱᴇʀ𐦯 We are going to the Pulga !! Get ready and head to the living room so we can go !!!" Ma's voice rang across your room even though she wasn't here, but at the kitchen, you could hear clear... Heading out to those cheep and rip-off brands to have enough money... Grreeatttt!

You sighed in defeat, knowing this would not lead nowhere if you protested. You looked down at your diary, which was a journal you used last year for school before, this...

"I'm coming, Ma !!!" You yelled as you contemplated what to do with your few minutes to be ready. You looked down at your diary, which wasn't complete yet... But your ma was not very patient when she that type of mood...

Deciding to go against your ma's demands for now... as you started to write once more...

.

.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏♡

UGHH, I hoped Ma would listen to me for once and actually give you a gift without anyways judging.... Maybe this could be changed sooner than later...

Well! I'm going at the pulga... Better hope there is either good shit there or fine people at the pulga... But why would a fine person be going at some cheap places...???

Anyways... I should sign off before Ma gets here... Adiós!

Sign off by 𐔌user 𐦯 !!!

- 9/30/20

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─── ༝༚༝༚

.

.

You closed your diary as you gotten off your bed as you walked to your closet opening your door as you started to push your clothes away from your direction as you came encounter your shoe box you had behind all those clothes... You pull out the lid as you put your diary as you put it where it belongs and start to fix your closet to not get anyone suspicious.

'Done!' You smiled at your little secret you had in your closet. You knew it wasn't the best spot to hide... Especially your diary that you protect with bare hands if anyone encounters.

You looked forward to seeing what to wear to go out... after a few minutes of either back in forth to yourself in your head you came in terms to wear a black jacket and underneath you is a horizontally striped red and black t-shirt with black jeans with rips along with Black vans. (Credit to ry1bxx on TikTok. Also, you don't have to imagine what it's being saying. You can change it what you prefer!)

"This is gonna get the bitches rolling." You said with a smug face as you looked over to the body mirror as you started to pose for the mirror seeing yourself in you clothes in every angle you can reach. "The fit hits!" You said with a smirk before you were once interrupted by your mother's voice ranging out of your room telling you to hurry up.

Sighing as you started to walk to your door ready to leave when suddenly you looked around your room seeing all the ramen you have eaten and didn't have the bother to clean up,paperwork that were all thrown on the floor as you try to implied for a university... and pictured planted on the wall that had many close friends you keep in touch...

It felt like it was some type of magic that made you stop for a second to look at your poor health conditions.... Whether trying to make you call out or making you stop this...

You shook those thoughts of away! Able to push yourself off that pit as you turned around and headed out of your room to go with your Ma.

.

.

.

.

.

"Are you ready, sweetie?"

.

.

.

"Yes, Ma."

.

.

↳ ❝ [ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴜʟɢᴀ] ¡❞

Now, at the scorching heat that it's beaming at your poor form... It didn't even help that there were many people out as well who were also suffering from the sun with you...

'Gosh, why are there many people?! It's a freakin Wednesday!!! Didn't we all not agree to stay indoors???' You thought as you walked behind your mother as she was first to look at all the cheap iteams she would buy.

You glance around, not thinking much as you see at the most radoms iteams being sold you wondered on how long this would last before you either burn by the sun or your mom deciding to leave it's only faith would chose...

Your eyes landed on a very suspicious store that sold games... You looked over your mother and realized she was talking with one of her best friends, knowing she wouldn't notice your disappearance, and it would take long for her to notice with her having a type of tea (I don't mean tea as the hot drink) to give to her bestfriend you were pressed on making a move to go over to that place that held all those games.

Deciding to do it, then never you took a quick pace as you pass your mother she didn't notice at all thinking it was just passing person she keep talking with her friend like nothing.

You turned a sharp left as you headed to the little 'store' you looked around with amuse expression, seeing many games from different categories anyone could find their right one!

You walked around taking glances at the games's names as you were quite tempted to buy one to keep you sane still after being close off without any human interaction besides Ma...

Suddenly...

.

.

.

.

.

.

"RESIDENT EVIL TWO?!?!" You let out that it was a bit too loud that got other people to side eye you before returning back to doing what they are doing...

"Resident Evil two....!" I quietly said as you walked over to the game as it was still in great condition still on its box and stuff! That's impossible! Why would it be here than other places??? Gosh- I'm so happy-

"Do you see what you like?" A female voice came out suddenly that made you jump in surprise. You looked in awe to see a woman most likely in the same or older than you she was slightly more taller than you by at least 3 or 4 inches having dark brown color eyes having black color hair that only reach over behind her neck it was layers so they came from either side from her head not brushed at all with added whispy bangs that fitted her face. And most importantly... was her angel fangs..

"OH! YEAH- Phem! I... I was wondering how much this cost!" You stumble on your own words that made you flustured from how embarrassing that was for you... You looked from the side as you handed the lady the game, wondering how much it cost. Hearing a slight giggle from her made you even flushed from embarrassed... wanting this to end.

"Well! You're in good luck since this baby costs about five dollars!" She replied as she looked over to you. "WHAY...? 5 DOLLARS?!" You once again reply a bit too loud, which earns you once more glances by other customers.... Yippee...

You instantly went to your wallet going down to the pocket the purchase the game... When you were about to give the money to the lady, you realized something...

4 dollars...

.

.

.

I'm one dollar off!!! (💀)

.

.

.

You looked down at your hand as you started to contemplate either killing yourself or fleeing the country with a whole different background to protect yourself from this level of embarrassment.

"My bad... I'm one dollar off... I don't think I ca-"

"It's alright! You can still buy it- No nevermind you can get it for free! It's at the house!" The lady replied with a small smile as she handed you the game with casualness.... You should have started to get suspicious of why she was willing to give it up with four dollars! But not being the brightest, you didn't think of that... You thought of playing Resident Evil!

"Really?! Oh my godddd- Thank you so much- umm.." As you stop as you looked over to the lady gesturing for her name to thank her.

"It's Ayme!" Ayme replies as she stretches out her hand, giving a sign to take her hand you didn't question it as you went out to shake her hand your other hand instantly fixing your hair to look more presentable.

"What a pretty name, Ayme ! My name is 𐔌ᴜꜱᴇʀ𐦯." You replied as you looked down at the Resident Evil with happiest smile you thought you were up the world with how happy you were receiving this. You looked up to Ayme, who was a baddie. You can go out after she gave you a free game and been nice to you. You knew you had to give your phone number to her.

"Well, Ayme, now that I know your name... Maybe I can go here once in a while now that you gave me for this for free! You might... You know, give me your number- Number to keep in touch!" You said with a small smile, trying to rizz her up for all your mighty but fumble on your own words she let out chuckled from the sudden question.

"Hmmm... Well... You're not exactly what I'm looking for, sweetie... but it won't hurt to chat with someone..." Ayme replied as she glanced over to you with a small smirk forming on her face, looking you up and down as if she was checking you out if you were worth her time.

"Don't you worry! You are going to see that I'm really am." You responded as you placed your hand over your hip, trying to look more appealing, which you think you look silly,but you kept that.

Before anything could happened you hear your mother. You let a curse under your breath as you knew you had to return back... But the baddie might not be here ! Why does the universal don't want you to have a girlfriend ?!?!

You looked over to Ayme and saw her writing on a piece of sticky note 'Where did that fucking came from ???' You thought but you didn't question it as it was really that important you just got her number !!! HOLY SHI-

"Here my phone number babe... Don't want your mommy to be waiting..." She tease as she handed you the sticky note that contain her phone number you took it and shove that sticky note to your pocket to save it for later.

"Just wait when I come home..." You replied back to her with sass because you ain't letting her win this at all, not after you were left to be embarrassed the moment you step foot on the area.

As you started to walk out to go in search of your Ma, you hear her voice one more time.

"Ummm 𐔌ᴜꜱᴇʀ𐦯... Be careful..." Ayme said in a softer tone is like her whole character turn 180 degrees... Is she scared?... Why was she scared??

"You know like! Being rob! That game is very valuable!" Ayme replied with a cheeky personality as she once more switch so quick you were left speechless as you didn't know what to reply knowing there was nothing to do but just let go

"Yo alright- You too!" You said as you walk away from her to return back to your angry mom not noticing Ayme's guilty expression as she sees you walking away being completely oblivious on what going to happen to you.

.

.

.

"What have I done...?"

.

.

.

↳ ❝ [ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴏᴏᴍ] ¡❞

You bolted into your room with the game you hid underneath your jacket after you return to your mom which was upset at you for leaving her behind to head whatever place you were off to (Most likely a goner shit with other nerds)

You were somehow to dodge her hitting when she gets mad at you. You build different. And definitely smart ass.

You took off the packaging and put that baby on your Xbox One sitting down on your bed as you waited for the game to load

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ "..."

.

.

.

███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ "Mmm..."

.

.

.

█████▒▒▒▒▒ "C'mon..."

.

.

.

███████▒▒▒ "Load faster!!!"

.

.

.

.

.

██████████ "Finally !!!"

.

.

𝙻𝚘𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐...

.

.

「 ✔ ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ 」

"Huh what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You mumble as you looked at your TV in confusion as you crawl out your bed and walked toward your TV wondering what the fuck is going on.

When you infront of it suddenly-

.

.

.

THE FUCKING TV CRASHED !!!

"What the flip- My sweet TV !!! It's there a virus on my TV ??? That lady just gave me a knock-off !!! That's why it was free in the start !!!" You let a groan as you fell on your knees as you felt defeated you didn't know what the fuck is going on... TV crashed with Resident Evil and most like the whole game is rigged since Ayme was so eager to give it away.... What the fuck am I suppose to do ???

You looked over to your TV seeing your own reflection to the TV as it was completely turn off... When suddenly... It turned on...?

"What the...?" You mumble as you shock to be seem as you thought you were rigged by the baddie...

Out of pocket you felt like you were shot through the heart- Your eyes widen with the sudden pain as you clench on your heart it felt like a bolt pass through you.

You let a gasp from the pain as you fell down and was nock off...

'WHAT THE FU-"

.

.

.

"DID I DIED???"

.

.

.

.

"SOMEONE HELP!!!"

.

.

.

.

.

"Help please!!!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

"I don't want to die"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Help? Is someone there?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Hello?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

________________________

HAIII FIRST CAPTER FINISH AND IM ALREADY WANNA PASS OUT ☹️

I REALLY HOPE U ENJOY THIS AS MUCH I DID WHEN WRITING THIS

NOW ANYWAY HOPE U HAVE A WONDERFUL MORNING/AFTERNOON/NIGHT <3

CHAPTER TWO DROP !!!

________________________

[hickoryblossom]

The Quarry fantasy AU

(Okay, so it's loosely D&D based, as in I'm using classes, races, and alignments from D&D as well as a few tidbits of lore. But it's more so using that as a base for general fantasy than specifically D&D)

With that out of the way, I'm going to go character by character with some overview stuff at the end

Dylan lenivy

Half-Orc Bard/Artificer Neutral/Good

His dad is an orc, and his mom is a human. He grew up with his mother in a predominantly human village. So he doesn't have a lot of connection to his orc side, in fact you never met his father. He was treated like an outsider for most of his life. He's got a lot of insecurities ✨ (especially surrounding his appearance). Dylan has put a lot of work into being charismatic. Because people tend to have strong usually negative opinions just upon seeing him, and he does his best to counter those assumptions with his charming personality. All this along with his usual fear of social rejection and general want for people to like him.

He did an internship at a local academy, which is how he learned his artificing skills (ldk if that's the actual term). His mother taught him music. She taught him all he knows; she wanted him to follow in her footsteps and become a minstrel like her. But he's always been more proficient with tech, hence why he did the internship. (also I haven't decided what instrument he plays yet, maybe viola idk)

So Dylan, struggling to find work after the internship, ran into Jacob and Kaitlyn, who were looking to become adventurers, but the local guild requires at least three people to start an adventuring party, so they asked him if you'd be interested in adventuring with them. And Dylan bored and broke decides fuck it why not? And agrees. And so they went on quests together for a bit. But then they hit a trouble spot, they needed better equipment that they could not afford, and so wound up working at 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' to make enough money to get what they needed.

Kaitlyn Ka

Tiefling Ranger Neutral/Good

Kaitlyn, being a tiefling born to elf parents, was ostracized from a young age. When she was around maybe  10 years old (or at least that maturity level because elf lifespans are different) she met Jacob, and they became friends. Jacob also didn't get along super well with the other elves, so the two made an unlikely pair of little outcasts. Which eventually becomes a trio when they start adventuring with Dylan. She is incredibly capable, an excellent shot with a crossbow, and knows a whole lot about nature. She is also definitely the only reason Jacob hasn't gotten himself killed.

Jacob Custos

Elf Barbarain Chaotic/Good

Jacob, being the lovable himbo that he is he's quite the opposite of your typical elf. As well as I imagine he wasn't really able to tap into magic, which further isolated him from his peers. He wasn't bullied or anything, people just didn't exactly understand him, no one really took the time to get to know him, until Kaitlyn.

It was primarily Jacob's idea to become adventurers. Like, Kaitlyn was absolutely down for it, but it was definitely Jacob's idea.

Ryan Ezrahler

Half-Elf Druid Lawful/Good

Ryan lives with the human side of his family, his paternal grandparents, and half sister Sarah. He is very magically gifted. However, he didn't know how to control it when he was younger. So, his grandparents sent him to 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' so he could learn how to use his magic. Ryan has always been very connected to nature, so Mr H, who it's also a druid, took Ryan under his wing. So, like in canon, Chris is a father figure to Ryan. So he's working as a counselor because he cares a lot about the Hacketts, and the camp is like a second home to him, and he wants to help any other kids who are in the same situation he was in, terrified of the magic within them because they can't control it.

Abigail Blyg

Human Cleric Lawful/Good

Abi is a very sweet church going girl who just wants to help where she can. She is training to become a cleric of the sun God. As part of the church's program, the clerics in training get paired up with the paladins in training. So, Abi was paired with Nick. The two have only known each other for about a year. They get along pretty well. An important part of their training requires them to serve their community. And what they chose to do for that was to work at ‘Hackett’s Quarry summer camp' to help the children learn to control their magic. (“It's rather important to help the youth”)

Also, everyone thinks Abi and Nick are together. They're not, Nick definitely likes Abi, but she's having a bit of a Bi crisis over Kaitlyn.

Nick Furcillo

Human Paladin Neutral/Good

Tbh, I don't have that much for Nick. (He's a character I really want to like more than I do, there's just so little for him and canon, and I'm not exactly sure what I want to do for the au) He, much like in canon, spends most of his time as a werewolf.

I think that might be more interesting and stuff because he's a holy knight (in training) of the sun god, and yet he's the first of them to fall to the moon curse. (idk I might add more later)

If you guys have any ideas, feel free to share.

Emma Mountebank

Siren Worlock Chaotic/Neutral

So Emma is a warlock, and I wanted to work in her being an influencer into part of this, that's where I got this idea. So her patron is essentially like her audience. It is a collective of multiple consciousnesses. She calls it chat; it manifests as this little floating wisp that follows her around. And she talks to it, but only she can understand it, only she can hear it. So she often gets weird looks when she's just having what appears to be a one-sided conversation with this little ball of light. So, because of their pact, a lot of Emma's decisions, including why she's here as a counselor in the first place, are driven by what would be most entertaining to her patron(s).

Laura Kearney

Elf Rogue Lawful/Neutral

Laura is not that different from canon. She's just a little more vengeful. Because not only is Max afflicted with werewolf curse but also because of that has completely lost connection to his goddess. And Laura true to form is fully ready to go kill people to fix that.

I am thinking, though, how she and Max met was that she got pretty beat up and nearly died, and he was the one who saved her (cause like healing magic because cleric) and the rest is history kind of moment. I think it's cute. Also, like because she's a rogue, she's always clung to the shadows, and no one's really noticed her until Max. ( I adore these two so much and I need their love story to be so, so, cheesy.) Anyway, Laura would kill thousands just for Max, and he would rewrite the stars just for her.

Max Brinly

Elf Cleric Lawful/Good

Max is a cleric to the moon goddess. (I haven't decided yet exactly what the situation is but I want to do something like Selune and Shar from D&D basically there's a deity for the light side of the moon as well as a deity for the dark side of the moon) Max's goddesses is of the light side of the Moon. His relationship with this goddess is so important to him. As a matter of fact, the reason they were traveling a night early was specifically because it was a full moon. Max figured it would have been the best time for them to travel because his goddess would guide them and keep them safe. Which is why it's so awful that he got infected. Also, because, as mentioned previously, the curse cuts off his connection to his goddess even when it's not the full moon. And this is devastating for him. (I hate to do this to Max cuz I love him so much, but it's also so interesting story-wise)

✨Overview time ✨

OK, so two big important pieces of information, one, Eliza, Silas, and the rest of Harum Scarum, are Drow (dark elves) and they left the Underdark to find a cure for Silas. And they started doing their travelling shows so they could make money, so they could meet their basic needs while they searched the lands for a cure. Two, the Hacketts are all humans, and very distrusting of other beings and magic. Fear of the unknown and all that. They've loosened up a bit on their feelings surrounding magic because Chris was magically gifted from a young age, though nobody knows why. Chris has spent a lot of his time honing his skills, learning, and understanding how his magic works. He's always wanted to help and to teach people, hence why he started the summer camp. That's his project, and the rest of his family doesn't really get involved. With the exception of his kids, of course. The whole story of how the Hackett family fell under the curse is essentially the same. Kaylee and Caleb tried to “rescue” Silas and got infected in the process. The fire still happened, all of that is the same.

I haven't decided what happens that keeps the counselors stuck at camp during the night of the full moon. (But I will update once I’ve figured that out)

Also, there are definitely some gay shenanigans with Ryan and Dylan because, of course there are. I'm currently trying to figure out an equivalent to the radio hut scene.

Anyway, this is what I have so far. I will be posting art for this soon. Thanks for reading.

[ragana62]

Sending 🔥🔥🔥

"Bad" fan content (art, fics, videos, rambles, etc.) is actually more important to fandom and a better indication of the health of a fandom than the professional grade internet darling stuff.

More below the break, because I got longwinded and don't want to wall of text people who don't want to read my takes.

First of all, purity culture is bullshit. Liking and engaging with only the most popular/top tier in terms of 'quality' (used here in the strictest technical sense, i.e. perfect adherence to grammatical rules and formatting guides for fics, a high degree of technical skill in drawing/painting/whatever your artistic medium, a borderline PhD dissertation level of lit analysis going into each and every headcanon) is the same as deciding you can't rewatch your favorite movie/reread your favorite book from middle school because you're an adult now and can only like mature things, is the same as deciding that you can't like certain ships because they aren't canon compliant. And it all comes down to this need we've all developed to curate our lives perfectly to present ourselves as the best and most perfect people to ever exist on the internet. Which is also bullshit.

Fandom is and always was a deeply nerdy, cringe space at its very best. It was where you could subtly ask people at a con if they watch Star Trek for 'the Premise' and once confirmed they were safe launch into your hottest Spirk takes, or where you can scroll past someone's New York Times Bestseller quality 400,000 word magnum opus on the complex inner life of a character with no spoken lines of dialogue in canon in the same mouse drag as a 400 word crack fic about the main character in a fandom centered on a horrific dystopia going to the beach. So not only does the closet cosplayer who looks more like your local emo 7-11 clerk than the character they're tagged as belong here just as much as the professional costumer who hand wove the cloth for their undershirt out of flax they grew themselves in their back garden, but I think they're actually more important to a healthy fandom. First, a brief defense of cringe:

We all suck at some point. Maybe you (general) didn't start posting anything until you could do it perfectly, but that doesn't mean you emerged from the womb flawlessly gifted at writing complex worldbuilding and painting masterpieces. That just means you didn't show anyone until you could, and that's kind of sad. Writing/making art/doing textual analysis/making gifs or song edits/costuming/any of it, all of it takes practice to be any good at it, and while none of it is 100% guaranteed to be a good time had by all involved, if you weren't having some fun along the way why bother? You shouldn't have to feel like you need to wait to be perfect to be excited and show people what you're doing just because curation culture says it's only worthy if it's perfect.

We are all inherently cringe. You didn't stop being cringe when you pulled out the cheap neon clip in hair extensions from Claire's and start saying that your favorite cartoon was for babies, you just became a different sort of cringe. That's fine, it's a right of passage, we all go through that phase, but part of growing as a person is learning that it's okay to like what you like, to embrace all the parts of you and your passions, whether it's the big mature official adult interests that people can understand and are socially accepted like prestige TV and whatever self-help book is telling you all the ways you should feel miserable today or the silly youtube videos that made you laugh in middle school or the cheesiest pop songs imaginable. It isn't morally superior to only acknowledge your love for the former, or an essential part of growing up.

Fandom has also always been middle aged suburban moms rambling about the two characters they want to shove into a closet and make kiss, just as much as it has always been the middle schoolers doing the exact same thing, just as much as it has always been people spending hours researching every detail of the latest episode to perfectly justify why Character X is actually a closet fan of doritos. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do a massive formal analysis on the magic systems present in the world of whatever and how they have to work in relation to real world physics, or explore serious themes in a work of fiction, or whatever else either. One set of those things isn't any inherently better than the other, and we all do both when we are being honest with ourselves, even if we don't share one (and more often than not it's the former). Learning fictional languages is an inherently dorky thing to do, no matter how many awards the show or book it's from wins. Dressing up as your favorite imaginary friend is an inherently dorky thing to do, no matter how perfect the costume is. Writing about a made up person going on adventures is an inherently dorky thing to do, whether it's grimdark serious or the crackiest AU imaginable. Spending hours getting the shading just right on the book not the show version of your favorite character is inherently dorky, even if you're the Michaelangelo of old man Yaoi (as though Michaelangelo himself wouldn't rise from the grave to fight you on that). Embrace it.

Anyway, why does this matter? Because purity culture and curation culture are actually what's killing fandom. Like I ramble about the death of community in fandom, the death of comment culture, the loss of old fandom rules/etiquette, etc., fandoms dying too quickly, all the time, but those are symptoms. The bigger problem is, we've all convinced ourselves that we have to be perfect on the internet.

A breakdown:

Fandoms die too quickly. - Because we don't nurture them. Sure, dwindling attention spans do contribute, but we don't give fandoms (or shows, but that's a different rant) time to get good anymore. If we are all refusing point blank to interact with any fanworks that aren't complete works, at the highest quality, that are already popular/have certain ratios of hits to kudos to comments, or aren't at a certain word count, then we're killing it before it starts. Like it or not, by the highest standards we hold this stuff to, 90% of just about everything is a bit shit. It's going to be bad grammar and unfinished wips and 'cringe' AUs and self-insert whathaveyou. That's fandom baby. And if that 90% has no interaction, you can bet those wips will never be finished and those fics with good ideas and bad formatting will never bother to edit it or find a beta and you'll never know that the author writing that 'cringe' was sitting on a draft of your perfect fic that scratches every itch your brain has ever had for your OTP. Because we can sit here all we like and say we write/draw/create for ourselves, but we all know we publish it because we want to exist in interaction with others.

Nobody comments/interacts anymore. - Yeah, because we're all a little bit afraid of someone seeing our AO3 username popping up in the comments/kudos and being found out for enjoying that deeply self-indulgent smut fic or the random 'murder hobo left the child death arena to get froyo' fluff stick figure comic or whatever else we're so afraid of somehow being called out for liking. We've all had it drilled into us that every moment of our existence on the internet has to be curated perfectly to match our official image, so if we want to be serious and mature and proper we can't be seen enjoying the same 'cringe' as everyone else. But if we all feel it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where nobody interacts with any of it, and it all just goes away because as much as we liked it, the creators never found out and stopped sharing with the class.

Fandom etiquette is dead. - Purity culture and curation culture strike again. In the olden times, we had a little policy called 'Don't Yuck My Yum' (it does have other names, this is just the one I use, though 'Don't Like, Don't Read' is the more fic specific one). That isn't to say there was never negativity and flame wars and the like, because oh boy was there, but the point stands. Demanding updates like clockwork because you want more? Anon hate because an author writes a ship you don't like/engages with clearly tagged subject matter that isn't for you/doesn't write a character how you see them? They come from the same place. We need everything we interact with to match our perfectly curated internet persona, and part of that is being seen defending that perfectly curated internet persona's rules. So none of your mutuals can possibly disagree on your headcanons, and nobody can ship anyone else with the members of your officially stated OTP, and nobody can ever find out that you liked that one Dead Dove fic when all your bookmarks are the fluffiest of fluff, and inversely, your favorite author must be a bad person if they wrote a dark fic, or isn't doing fandom right if they don't have a firm update schedule or only publish once the work is fully complete, etc. etc. That's not how any of that actually works in the real world. Why would it be how it works in fandom?

Death of community in fandom. - No shit. Given everything above, why would you bother building that community? Why would you become a regular commenter on a wip you like if it's probably just going to be abandoned anyway and your inbox will be flooded with people telling you that one time at 5:02 PM Pacific Standard Time on August 27th, a fan artist who did the cover for the fic you just commented on once said that they don't like relish on hot dogs and are therefore evil incarnate? Why would you risk putting yourself out there with your craziest takes that have no support but are pure vibes if you're just going to get 'well actually'-ed out of your entire online presence because you had the audacity to say 'fuck it, this is just for fun, I don't care if it's a bit out of character or unsupported by canon'? Why would you bother publishing your art/videos/gifs/fics/whatever else until they were so perfect they couldn't possibly be critiqued at all? The answer is, you wouldn't. So, nobody talks to anybody, unless you've known them for years already before everything got so closed off and perfectionistic, nobody builds those communities, fandom disappears off to little insular discord servers where the creators never find out anyone cares and only people with your exact same takes are let in, and it all slowly goes away because eventually people stop investing their time in putting themselves out there to receive none of the positive interaction and all of the negative.

In short: perfect is the enemy of good, and the best thing your creativity can be is 'in existence'. Make the 'bad' thing and share it, not because anyone else will necessarily love it right away but because it deserves to exist. Maybe one day it gets better. Maybe it never does. Either way, it exists. Inversely, show love to the 'bad' things, because fuck it we all enjoy these things anyway in our own ways so why be ashamed of it? Watch your 'childish' cartoon and rant about it on main, publish the crack AU 'Evil Dictator Spends 20 Minutes Wondering How You Milk an Almond on Their First Grocery Store Trip in 25 Years', draw the stick figure comic and the jerky animation for your fan music video set to the schlockiest pop song imaginable. The only reason we aren't all doing it, is because we're all stuck in these little shame bubbles that can only be popped if we start poking at them. And that's how you save fandom.

Because healthy fandoms, they have lots of 'cringe'. They have lots of 'bad' art and fics and gifs and videos, because they've been around long enough for people to start off bad and get better in a technical sense, or because they haven't lost that community spirit and willingness to admit they're inherently dorky that makes fandom great and have no shame in admitting they read the reader insert smut or the crack drabbles or the badly formatted and unedited fic that might not consistently be able to spell 'orange' correctly but damn it if the story isn't good. Sometimes both. Usually both. If we want to actually fix the issues we all rant about all the time in fandom, we need to start by embracing the fact that we are all doing fundamentally dorky, cringey, things by engaging with fandom at all and there is no inherent moral or personal superiority to be had in acting otherwise.

If we're all irredeemable dorks with questionable taste, then who gives a shit that you saw the author of that fandom darling masterpiece of high-grade wordsmithery's name pop up in the kudos or comment section of that smutfic or darkfic or crackfic or whatever else we're ashamed to admit we read this week? You're both there, you're both reading it, if anything, that's an endorsement that you'll probably enjoy what they're doing since you're both enjoying the same other stuff. If none of us are perfect, maybe we can finally get back to just letting ourselves have fun.

Send me 🔥

[sackondeznuts]

(HNDR_LINE OC)

Itami Tsukuyami's Gift Preferences/Gift Reactions/Bond Events

Preferred Items/Gifts:

❏ Painkillers ⌗Handy Food

❏ Colored Pencils ⌗Art Tools

❏ Sketchpad ⌗Art Tools

❏ Headphones ⌗Cool Accessories (Requires Audio Connector)

❏ Stickers ⌗Cute Ornaments

❏ Chest Binder ⌗Handy Clothes

❏ Black Hair Dye ⌗Memories Tools (Requires Para-Phenylenediamine)

Gift Reactions:

[𝟭.] Ah... No thanks! You can keep it. To yourself. Not me.

[𝟮.] Thank but, um, why...me?

[𝟯.] Oh? Thanks. (Impassive)

[𝟰.] Woah... For me? From you!? Haha... Thanks!

[𝟱.] Takumi, h-how did you... You're telling nobody I like these kind of stuff! Okay!?

Bond Events:

B1 - Bored and Bother: ✦✧✧✧✧

Ughhh, I'm so bored! Where is my internet!? My gadget!? My social media!?

Throwing us inside a war and feeling pain over and over and over to the point that I have nightmares and not even giving any entertainment!

This is total cruelty!

*Sighhh*

I sound like a total loser missing those things. Cause I mean, I was only complaining for the sake of complaining. Maybe that's how I cope? I don't know...

Well, whatever. Bothering you and invading your room is the only source of my entertainment.

Pissing you right off just to see your reactions always instantly becomes the highlight of my day!

Oops, did I say that? Nope, you're imagining things. Total schizo!

H-Hey, wait! I was joking, totally kidding! I'm sorry! Don't shut me out!

B2 - Initiated Convo Evasion: ✦✦✧✧✧

Oh? You're initiating a conversation? You want me to talk? Hehe, how surprising.

Oh, Takumi, you're so perplexing! I want to know more about you and get close to you, really. I mean, you're somehow, brave, smart, and stupid all at the same time—

You...want me to talk about myself? Hmm? Am I right to perceive this as you wanting to get to know me better as well?

My~ I'm so happy my heart could burst!

Pft. Kidding, I don't really care.

I don't get why'd you want to know anything about me, I look kinda boring right? And annoying too, not that I'm not aware of that.

Besides, I'd lose my totally mysterious vibe! If you knew everything there is to know about me! I won't pursue any further anymore!

Hmm? Oh, you're getting nowhere you say? Your face spells it out for me.

Fine, let's end things here, better luck tomorrow then, Takumi! Sweet dreams...

B3 - Blank Canvas: ✦✦✦✧✧

I can't quite get the image of this right...

Oh! Takumi, just wanted to ask real quick, how do you think I should draw you?

Should I make you look totally handsome? Pretty? Stupid? Goofy? Dumb? Stupid? I don't get it.

Hey? Why are you glaring at me? Ahem, as I was saying...

You have so many angles... Like a blank slate, no, more like an empty canvas, a plain cake yet to be decorated. Do you get it?

No? Guess you don't have what it takes to get inside an artist's mind. Pft. Stupid. Hmm.. I guess whatever... You're cute either way no matter what.

Hey... Why are you glaring at me again!?

*Sigh*

Guess what? I also drew the other SDU members! Wanna see? I'm open to critiques.

Huh? You're telling me I should ask for permission before I draw them first?

...

Oh.

Hahaha! My bad, my bad. Sorry, you're right.

Fine! Fine! Fine! Okay... I'll ask for permission whenever I draw next time. I am, so, so, so, sorry.

Maybe you shouldn't know about me drawing you... Nevermind.

B4 - Past Life: ✦✦✦✦✧

Did you know about my past life Takumi? Cause it's totally lame—I mean, interesting.

Not past life like my childhood, no, I mean like I've lived two lives already, this is my second body.

Okay, let me tell you a story. In my past life, I didn't live in the Tokyo Residential Complex, instead, I lived on Earth.

In that life, when I was young, I was an honor student! Contrary to my current life. Can you believe that?

However, I didn't really like studying, I only did it to please other people.

My classmates seemed to talk to me more because they know I'm smarter. My parents wanted me to keep this position because they think it's better for me.

I... I couldn't really get out, you know?

But that doesn't matter, doesn't it? Now that I've retained those memories in this new life, I actually started doing things I like.

I abandoned studying hard, became a mediocre student and opted to practice drawing y'know, cause I actually liked doing it.

But... People didn't care anymore.

I wonder which one will make me happy? Doing things for other people or doing things for myself?

I'm living my second life now and I still don't know the answer.

Ahem, jingle, jingle jingle. Have you been paying attention? Did you take notes like a good boy?

Good, cause every single thing I said just now we're all lies! Hehe!

Yep, you just wasted your entire time listening to my mindless fiction thinking that it's real. I pity you, Takumi.

B5 - The Pain: ✦✦✦✦✦

A-Ah... Hey, Takumiiii... Watchu doin here? Hehe...

D-Don't mind me, I'm just like, having flashbacks and all. I'm not sick.

Actually, I lied. I've threw up so much these past few days I think I'm gonna battle Tsubasa on a throwing up battle and win.

I'm fine though! Don't worry about me... I've bothered plenty already. This is my business.

...Haah... I can't even sleep properly now, my mind keeps throwing me back to those memory about battling. Is this what a war does to somebody?

Hey, I know I haven't been able to express gratitude to you for everything and all, but...

Having you by my side has actually helped me a lot more than you could imagine, I don't think I could've gone through all of that alone.

Thanks, Takumi. And uhm, I'm sorry too, for being passively mean all the time and...bothering you.

It's true that I act happy-go-lucky all the time but I'm just lying to myself to forget the pain.

I thought that, maybe if I'm happy, then I'll be happy, if I think a thing is real, then it becomes real.

And if I'm happy, I'd forget about the time an invader sliced my whole arm right off!

Or that time when an enemy commander nearly sliced my body in half!

Or how I kept bleeding when I stabbed myself with an infuser over and over and over and over and over and over...

...Oh! Sorry about that! I went on a tangent. I'm fine though!

Don't worry about me, I'll be off to my room, sweet dreams!

(2nd Scenario Exclusive)

(SPOILERS FROM THE CANON GAME AHEAD!)

B6 - Fiction or Reality, All the Same: ✦✦✦✦✦✦

You know, I'm not actually as surprised as much as anyone here, like you!

I kinda had it coming, I had a feeling.

I've always thought that my life didn't feel real even if it was reality, matter of fact, fiction felt more like reality to me.

Reality felt like a game for me. Like maybe there's a player that's controlling me, carving a path for me, whether it reaps good experiences or bad.

Maybe there's another universe where I've had a better life!

Maybe there's another that's worse, maybe there's a universe where I'm a bad person, maybe in another makes me a saint.

It's kinda... Difficult to explain. Either way, do you relate?

...Of course. Ha... Hahahaha...

Anyways, I've consumed a ton of fiction that I connected to on a fundamental level. It feels easier to put myself in their shoes because I didn't like mine.

I've found fiction easier to empathize with than reality. So I'm not surprised that everything I've lived up until now is fake.

Either way, I still empathize with those memories, I felt things when I experienced it. Whether or not it's true doesn't really matter.

I think you should treasure your memories too, Takumi. They're still something that you loved, after all.

[dozing-marshmallow]

could i maybe request some yandere!chris mclean headcanons if thats alright with you? (bonus points if its with a reader that lowkey fears him)

ps love ur work, you're one of the very small amount of people that write for my man chris

Helloo, and of course it’s alright!! Thank you for the request, I hope these headcanons below are good enough, and aw thank you, I appreciate that! 💗 (Don’t worry, I plan on posting Chris McLean content for a long time ;).) YANDERE!CHRIS MCLEAN HEADCANONS 

Chris didn’t know what to do. He had never cared so much about another living person before.

But here he was, hiring a private investigator to find out everything he could about you.

For someone who was meant to be his personal assistant, you noticed he was way too proud to showcase you to the public and showered you with more gifts than you had received your entire childhood.

Because of this uncontrollable hearts for eyes he had for you, he had an internal conflict pulling him from both sides of his head. Should he use you as a punching bag for laughs or should he reserve your body as its natural state?

Nahh he already had those moronic teenagers to feed his sadism- Alright, but imagine how good it’ll feel to see you cry...and hear your pleads...for him to stop...

Such that human life was too cheap for him.

Don’t worry, Chris isn’t the type of yandere to tie you down in a dark basement whenever he has to leave for extended periods: instead, he was more than happy to still have you on the show, as long as you played along for the cameras. Now that you knew the full truth behind his continuous gift showering and sweeter treatment, hearing him hide the lovesickness in his voice everyday to the others made you nauseous.

Another day of agony led you to his same heavenly bed.

Nothing was as enjoyable as it used to be.

At least the guy was loyal- he gave up on attending parties and social events, unless he arranged his own with you, and was immune to alternative admiration.

That doesn’t mean it got better. Occasionally, Chris appears to have let his darker conscience win, seeing how he would stick his saliva into your wounds with his tongue where your warm blood cried, or caught it to use as an ingredient for his coffee.

One day, he must have wondered what it’d look like for the roles to be reversed, openly admitting it as you drank your hot chocolate that he had mixed some of his blood in it so that “you could always have a piece of me inside of you.”

“How...can you give me something with your blood in it to drink!?” You spluttered horrified, wiping your mouth.

For a second, it’s like he gained a realising glimpse at what he’s done, but then happily turns it into a milestone,“Haha okay, I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t think about how messed up that was until I heard you say it. Soooo, I might be a bit of a masochist? Whoo! Love really does teach you things you never knew about yourself, doesn’t it, my love, (Y/N)? I love that name, by the way. (Y/N). It suits you reaaaaaaally well!”

Yeah and thanks to him, you grew to hate it.

It spirals to the sickening point where Chris didn’t even want anyone else to look at you, whether it was from the screen or in person. How did he ensure this? Simple. You were going to make one final appearance on Total Drama to bid your departure from show business so nobody would suspect your absence in future episodes.

Well, it worked. So authentic that no one thought of anything more when you started sobbing right there and then or how Chris came to escort you away.

Albeit your friends and family weren’t deceived for long when they never heard from you again.

And it’s going to stay that way, for Chris paid the police department situated in Ontario to ignore, close, reject all reports filed in your name. He may as well have removed your citizenship.

The frightening power of the bourgeoisie.

Now you were truly prohibited from leaving his grounds.

“Why the long face, (Y/N)? Aren’t you happy?”

“No...” You tremble,“I... I want to go home...so badly.”

“Home?” He twirls you around, hands gripped on your shoulders in true puzzlement,“This is your home.”

“No, it’s...not. I...don’t belong here... You scare me.”

“Huh? Me? Scare you? (Y/N), whatever do you mean? Everything I’ve been doing so far...is for you! Now that we don’t have to worry about the police, it’s way easier for us to be together in peace! See how thoughtful I am, (Y/N)? No need to thank me.”

“Chris I’m sorry, but...” you wince, knowing such bold answer may trigger a dangerous reaction,“I can’t...reciprocate. See, I didn’t know th...there was something else you wanted from me other than me working for you... I...think you’d be better off spending your time and love on someone else.”

“Oh (Y/N),” he chuckles darkly, sprinkling your disbelieved face with kisses,“It’s all these well meaning, pure hearted things you say that has me falling more and more in love with you... I’m not worried you don’t feel the same. In fact, I honestly couldn’t care less. As long as I can hear you breathe...”

He could hear it alright. Just the same in his sleep... Perfect.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do A, C, I, G, K, L, and P for EJ in the fluff alphabet? It would make me reallyyyy happy :3

Fluff Alphabet w/ EJ!!

ive been waiting for someone to do EJ you dont understand!!! i saw this earlier but the power went out when i finally had time to sit down and get to writing </3 my apologies as for other stuff/for everyone else, requests are still open, and the fluff alphabet will be open indefinitely!!

ATTRACTION- Honestly I think you gotta be a real catch to end up as Jacks partner, considering his entire hermit thing... I personally think that he separates himself from society after he becomes Eyeless Jack via a funky cult sacrifice thing... which he was kinda pretty much unwillingly roped into. I think he would want someone who's capable of taking care of themselves, and perhaps someone whos smart. maybe even lower maintenance. its not that he doesnt want to treat you as you deserve, its that sometimes he cant given he sometimes legitimately goes feral (though this is only really due to him pushing off his needs, blood frenzy type deal for when he pushes off eating people, can get real ugly). understanding as well, he needs someone whos willing to be understanding of his position and current predicament and know that eventually jack is going to fully not. be there anymore one day (possible angst idea? ooo?) but also even before the whole, demon thing, jack wasnt the most cheery or social and things definitely havent changed

CUDDLING- hes really cold so thats good for hot nights! not good for cold ones though </3 but hey maybe you guys are somewhere where its perpetually hot. as for the actual act of cuddling, he prefers to be the big spoon. likes sleeping closer to the door, kinda makes a barrier of himself for you in case someone were to come in. which is unlikely since if this were his place, its literally a cabin in the woods in bumfuck nowhere, but the point still stands. only engages if youre asleep or ask for it. if youre the one holding him, he kinda. freezes still and doesnt dare move. poor dude, hes so scared hes going to bite you or something

GIFT GIVING- since he lives in the woods and doesnt have a job he cant exactly go out and give you gifts. he also isnt fond of taking belongings from victims, since he already takes pieces of their bodies. coughs. anyways, i think hes more of an act of service person (will talk more about that in L)

INJURY- youre in luck, he had plans to be a doctor, thats what he was going to college for! plus i think he had a little fixation on medical stuff in general growing up. little hc that his other choice was to be a microbilogist. idk, i can see it. but i dont think it needs to be said that neither became reality. but he does know how to treat some injuries and illnesses! so youre both in luck! but how does he react, emotionally? honestly, as long as youre not bleeding while hes in his frenzied state hes more than willing to help you... although its more so because he doesnt want the scent to trigger anything in him... he cares about you, i promise! its just that ultimately its better he doesnt go feral on you- now if he was the one injured hes already patching himself up... oh but imagine convincing him to let you clean up a wound he got while trying to do his thing.... ouuuugh... let the man be vulnerable, let him be taken care of... ueueue... anyways- yeah

KISSES- he doesnt wear his mask when hes at your place or his cabin- in fact he only really wears it when hes 'hunting' or 'prowling', so!! loves kissing your cheek. will absolutely refuse to kiss you if hes just ate, though, let him wash his face and brush his teeth first. and change his clothes. he likes being kissed anywhere; forehead, mouth, cheeks, hands, ect ect ect. now in terms of frequency i dont think he likes it too often, but that may be some internalized thing about no longer being worthy of love or something but hey who am i to say (loudly winks)

LOVE LANGUAGE- as previously mentioned, acts of service is how jack shows his appreciation and love for you. need something done? hes on it! need to do some chores but dont feel like it? you dont even need to ask! stuff like that, hell, even if something doesnt need to be done he will probably tinker at it and try to make it better if its an appliance or something that can be upgraded to be more efficient and effective. when it comes to receiving he likes words of affirmation, this man has been through hell and hes still going through it, so reassuring him that you still love him even though hes changing makes things a little less scary

PET NAMES- he likes calling you babe and baby. he likes being called hon! doesnt really do petnames, he finds saying someones name intimate enough... which honestly i kinda agree with, i kinda hate how utilized it is in romantic media. just two characters loving each other, sharing a moment, and one softly utters the others name in a sweet tone. GUH!!!! anyway

[kaveat]

This post was inspired by lucky lefties district deep dive, so please go watch. I left a similar post in a comment under her video but I wanted to expand on it since I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about the career districts.

I’ve seen people online with the opinion that 4 is different from the other Career districts somehow. That they either aren’t prone to sending up volunteers or that their tributes aren’t as cut throat.

I personally hate this theory however I can see why people have come to such a conclusion.

In the books the two district 4 tributes are never named and both die very early on despite having supposedly trained their whole lives to survive this sort of thing. Also I doubt the movie helps as in the films the male district 4 tribute is extremely young and is killed by Cato during the bloodbath.

The girl dies later to the tracker jackers along with Glimmer and I think the impression people form because of that is something must be different about 4. Why else would their tributes be so young and die so early?

In the books Katniss does however, mention that it is strange that the district 4 male died so early on and we know he’s 18 unlike in the films, and it’s not hard to imagine that the girl from 4 was simply unprepared when the nest fell on her like Glimmer.

However, I also think the district 4 Victors we end up meeting only serve to confuse people further. We don’t meet many of the district 4 victors but the ones we do see aren’t exactly what you would expect from a career district. Mags who is extremely old, fragile and kind by the time we come to meet her in catching fire and Annie who is described frequently to have suffered a complete mental collapse during her own games.

They’re not exactly the paragon of strength, intimidation and glory that we associate with Careers like Gloss or Enobaria.

Finnick is definitely the most stereotypical career out of all of them, at least in appearances and stature, but throughout the books we learn that he is incredibly kind and gentle despite what we’re lead to believe spending most of the first few days in the games caring for Mags and ensuring Katniss’ safety by playing up her pregnancy for the Capitol.

It’s hard for us as the audience to really reconcile the fact that 4 is like 1 and 2 because we actually get to know the tributes from their and we learn that they aren’t as one dimensional as we’re lead to believe with the others.

So yes I do believe all 3 were careers. I think Mags probably formed a pack similar to the one we see Coral forming in Tbosas she was probably an earlier example of a career. Meanwhile Annie I believe suffered a similar breakdown to Cato after Clove died.

I don’t like how people assume that just because she was well trained and prepared that she somehow wasn’t still susceptible to trauma. If she was a career then we can assume she grew up close with her partner and like how Cato and Clove had a close relationship. Watching him die so brutally would’ve had an affect on any teenager career or not.

Finnick is definitely the hardest to see being a career ironically enough and that’s simply by virtue of the fact that he was 14 years old when he was reaped.

If the whole point of career tributes is to ensure your district wins and is granted the food and wealth that the Capitol gifts to the victors as a reward then why let a 14 year old child volunteer?

The only reasons I can think of is

1. Either he was some sort of prodigy (though I still find this confusing as wouldn’t waiting for him to turn 18 and sending him up with assurance that he might win not be better than sending a half trained 14 year old and hoping he’ll be the first?)

2. He got unlucky. Maybe the reaping system is employed some years or they don’t always manage to get volunteers, though I find this unlikely it is definitely a possibility.

3. Or (and this is more of a personal theory btw) like 1, 4 tries to play the social game with the Capitol and figured sending an attractive, prodigy 14 year old would stir up interest (and provide Finnick with a good storyline for interviews) while also ensuring lots of sponsorships based on his looks.

I personally believe the third theory though there’s not much evidence so I would take it with several grains of salt.

However even with all that sorted I believe that district 4 does train their tributes in a slightly different way then 1 and 2 however I think this comes more from a place of culture and propaganda than anything else.

Since district 4 runs the fishing industry they obviously have access to the ocean. They’re one of the only districts to do so barring maybe 5 and even then 4 has access on a much larger scale. This is bad for the Capitol.

Of course it’s said that Panem is the only surviving nation from after the world changed but they could easily be lying and either way, having a whole district with the potential to utilise the only bit of the world the Capitol doesn’t and cannot have complete control over if they ever decide to rebel means that district 4 is a threat.

I think that the Capitol places a lot of emphasis on inter personal relationships in the district, I also believe that like 11 they are probably heavily monitored, especially on the ocean and that whippings, beatings and executions are probably commonplace as the Capitol wants to discourage any attempts at escape.

I think district 4 has a very close knit community, and that the Captiol does everything it can to tie them to their homeland, establishing roots and connections that mean many people in district 4 don’t want to leave their home.

However I think this is also a double entendre because the close sense of community between district 4 citizens means that they get especially frustrated when their children die in the games and while I’m not saying that the other districts don’t care about their kids as much, something we see, at least in district 12, is a very defeatist attitude towards the games. The kids reaped there have given up before they’ve even made it into the arena and I imagine it’s similar with a lot of the other poorer districts, just accepting their grim reality and not bothering to try and fight. It’s implied in catching fire that 4 outright rebels and on Katniss’ victory tour she describes them as one of the districts angry at the Capitol. I believe this is because the strong emphasis on community bonds and connections means that the citizens in district 4 don’t take the abuse lying down so much as other districts like 12.

This is why I also believe the district 4 focuses primarily on survival when training volunteers. And I don’t mean survival techniques like how to start a fire or stop an infection because I don’t think the Capitol would allow those types of skills to be taught, but I think district 4 basically teaches their tributes to do anything they can to make it home.

We see it with Coral in Tbosas movie where she breaks down sobbing about how all her kills couldn’t have been for nothing. I think this feeling of doing what you have to to make it home ends up being a driving factor behind their teachings.

They’re taught to put morals aside and that even if they’re in an alliance the only one safe to trust is their own partner. Maybe they’re also taught to use whatever they can to endear them to the Capitol, whether that be their looks or their skills in the arena.

So while they’re equally as indoctrinated as 1 and 2 I believe that a lot of their training is focused on doing whatever they need to in order to live.

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

CAWF Tumblr simulator

🦠 Neutro-2145 Follow

B Cell hasn't worked in a while, the bacteria tastes bland…

(56 Notes)

❤️ IM1235 Follow

The neutrophils are so cool when they're saving the body! I should get them a gift to show my gratitude!

❤️ IM1235

Ok I just saw them rip out the insides of an infected cell, I don't think I can sleep tonight.

#oh my god #do they do that all the time???

(45 notes)

🧸 Dendri217 Follow

I don't think sewing lactic acid bacteria nearly everyday is good for my mental health, but it sure is fun! I need to go outside more I think

#lactic acid bacteria #my beloved #maybe I have too many of them #but you can never have too many lactic acid bacteria

(11 notes)

🎆 RegT59 Follow

As much as I love Helper T as a friend I wish he'd stop buying random things with our budget. He didn't even solve the Rubik's cube he bought last time, now he's buying those metal wire puzzles.

🎆 RegT59

He offered to get me something and I bought a conch shell just because it looked interesting. His bad habits are rubbing off on me.

#sigh #i should just stick to solitaire #our office is getting so cluttered

(64 notes)

⚪ Neutro-3033 Follow

The amount of people that don't know not all neutrophils enjoy eating bacteria or infected cells is wild. Have you tried to eat some?? It's terrible. Some of us only eat it because it's part of the job.

#i swear #its so annoying #at least the RBCS bring us stuff other than bacteria #i really wouldn't mind something less sweet

(82 notes)

✖️ Cross-TCell reblogged

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

How do I tell my subordinates that I don't actually hate them and that I'm just strict and they need to stop being so sloppy? Believe me guys I like having you around please invite me to something I'm begging you

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

That was a moment of weakness ignore that (please invite me please please please ple

🐦‍⬛ King-Killer

WHICH ONE OF YOU REBLOGGED THIS?? NOW ALL MY SUBORDINATES ARE CONSTANTLY BRINGING ME WITH THEM FOR LUNCH????

#its okay squad leader #we honestly just thought you'd be too busy to bother with us #so glad you actually do like us #the boys love you too

(19 notes)

🍸 Microfold108 Follow

What even is the point of living? If not just for the sake of a higher being we don't even know? Are they good? Are they bad? Maybe they're the nicest person in the world, maybe they're a serial killer who has murdered countless of their kind. Do they know we work only for them? Do they know how many of us love them?

🍸 Microfold108

Nevermind Dendritic cell came over with a lot of friends and he said they all enjoyed me so maybe there is more to life than that.

#i need to find an actual interest #maybe then I'll stop being so negative about everything

(4 notes)

🟩 HelperT31 Follow

Apparently you can just buy a house??? On Sellular?? I'm going to prank Reg T with this. It's going to be so funny, imagine I pull out a whole house right in front of the office, she'd go insane.

#nobody reblog this I can't let reg t see this #itll ruin the surprise

(1,129 notes)

🗡️ NatKiller095 Follow

Non-immune cells are literally so scary, how do you socialize everyday without getting tired or stressed out??? What do you MEAN you think us murdering cells is scarier?? At least I don't have to go around the ENTIRE body just to hand over a box of gases to someone I barely know!

✨ Eosin-9024 Follow

I agree!! How else would you relieve stress if you can't straight up explode? I would rather die than have to deal with that everyday, I'm so glad parasitic infections are rarer than bacterial and viral infections.

#non immune cells #im sorry for exploding your houses all the time but you guys genuinely terrify me

(34 notes)

🪩 B265 Follow

I love working on the skin! So many beautiful women up here! Way better than working for that insane idiot boss in the alimentary tract

#talking about helper T cell #he sucks so bad #wont let me live my life for just 5 minutes #i do really miss reg t tho #she was way better than helper T

(8 notes)

🪄 Mast92 Follow

The reason why Cellor-sun was so adamant about saving her friends despite risking her life to do so was because if she didn't she risked the Natchlor absorbing her powers and in turn causing the destruction of the whole vessel. Yes she loves her friends but she needed to take the risk, it was a big part of the plot, how do people not see that the first time they watched??

Also I hate how they forcefully gave Cellor-sun a love interest. Soma was an interesting character as Cellor-sun's new companion but they didn't have to force the love interest trope on him. I feel like the trope was so one dimensional, like two different people wrote him. The Cellor-sun I know would never instantly fall in love with someone like that! Their arc was literally 20 minutes long!!! She has high standards and yet just happened to meet someone who has all those exact standards??? Where do you find a cell that happens to be into all your interests, mesh well with your friends, and don't mind that you are a magical girl constantly risking your life for the sake of the vessel?? Soma would've been fine if he was just a friend of Cellor, he could've been her love interest, just stretch it out realistically. He has interesting powers that interact well with the rest of the cast, I really just wish his arc with Cellor would've been written better. Whoever wrote that needs to post a public apology right now.

#cellor-sun against the univessel #cellor-sun #soma-san catu #i could've written it better for real #catu

(424 notes)

[imagine-silk]

You write for Marvel? Can you write general headcanons for yandere Hela? If you can't or don't want to write for her, then that's fine.

》 The reason I didn't answer this was because I hadn't watched the movie yet. But now I have so I will. (Also I got this ask forever ago so I am really sorry)

There is no particular reason she plucked you out of a crowd. Every ruler needs a harem, paramours, and pets, you are one of what will inevitably be many. You're petrified, reasonably so, so you do what she says with no resistance. If you do speak out if immediately dies, you know better. Or maybe it's just common sense to listen to death herself.

She spends nights with you, busy during the day, and it's reserved for winding down. You are expected to bathe and to let her groom you, massage and oil, brush. To keep you clean and presentable, it's luxury. You are also expected to do the same to her. If you are uncomfortable with anything too bad, so sad. During the night she also tells you of what she might want to do. Things that are nonviolent and not expected to hear from her. Having a painting done, landscape maybe. See a canyon or a lake. Admittedly they are soft she knows, but she's under the understanding she can kill you if you use it against her.

You have no role, not truly, so you live in fatal luxury. Fall into her lap, pliant at the touch and submit to her will in terror.

She knows you're scared. She watches your muscles fight for what she’s dragged out of you by force with her hands at night, tensing against supple skin and doesn't understand how to stay. Your eyes focus on her always while trying to be aware of the surrounding area to very little success. That shudder you give her when she says your name makes her want to do things to you. And she does, she takes to have it, she has to have all of you.

No one expected you to survive so imagine the surprise when she becomes visibly attached to you.

She does what she wants and she decided no one is to touch you but her. No one. A guard who guides you to another place gently touching you will be considered for execution. Maid confessing their fancies of you are killed on the spot by any guard nearby because if they don't it's their head along with theirs. They take you to Hela immediately to inform her so she can take you to wash the blood off. Guards have actually asked you to put more blood on you to make sure she's happy.

You have this strange autonomy. You can go anywhere deemed safe, get anything you want on a silver platter, she will cherish you intensely and wholly.

Her attachment seems to be a one time thing. The harem gets bigger but it fluctuates in numbers, if you know what I mean. Because of you it becomes a thought that the luxury is worth the risk, that they can just earn her favor and gain everything. They are also the only ones who get to touch you so you can socialize. It is true to a certain degree, they get things materialistic and affluence, but they still need to stay in line. The benefits are wonderful but the price is high. Rules for thee but not for me applies to you and you alone.

It becomes a point of contention in the palace, your mere existence that is. Everyone gets on their best behavior and you just want peace, something you get seldomly. Luxury doesn't not mean tranquility much to your chagrin. It brings no more peace when you become a subject of interest. Dignitaries flower you with gifts and people sing your praise as a way to prove loyalty to Hela. And she allows it, approves it. There's also the use of your name favors and assassination attempts. Those people die. No one should have expected anything less.

She adores you in a way she doesn't care to think about. Why would she? All you need to do is sit back and take it. Not even death will part you.